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omg thank you so much for playing my little game!! :D

Disclaimer: The Painting's Stare Back is a fictional game idea created by the Tackling Representation in Games class. The fanfiction piece was written by me, and is a first draft. I intend to rewrite and expand upon the fanfiction and world of The Painting's Stare Back in general during summer 2023.

The worldbuilding and writing of the characters felt really strong! I got a clear sense of the world and the threat. The beginning did feel like it was a little heavy on exposition, but since it turns out it was the character's thoughts, it was a strong set up for the rest of the story. 

I agree with both June and Kaz in that the Resist part felt like it was setting me up for something big to happen. The negative agency of that choice felt like it showed how just how strong this being - the Opalescence? - is, and it's sinister potential. Overall, really well done!

I adore the dialogue! Every character I interacted with felt so unique and full of life. The set up of the party, the letter, the music -- everything felt like I was truly in the world. Being able to catch glimpses of Nick's thoughts felt quite natural and gave me a nice bit of insight into who he is.

The longer I played and the deeper I got into the search for Gatsby, the more I wanted to know who he is. I think this is coming along really well, and I hope to be able to play the final version!

I love the way the choices are integrated into the text! It really makes it feel as though they're coming as a result of thinking through what Robyn wants to do. 

You set up the characters and the situation really well, through both the choices and the character's dialogue with each other.  I think you're going in a really good direction, and I want to know more about what happens as a result of saving the girl!

(Looking at June's response, I think I had a similar issue where the story didn't load past the point of the child describing keeping the bottles close to him. I've waited for it to load and reloaded the page, but nothing is happening. I'm really sorry if I missed a large part of your game!) I don't remember the entirety of the story of The Little Prince, but I liked the modern spin you put on it! I loved the false choice, where a bunch of choices popped up and then disappeared. I'm not sure if I completely understood who the child is, but I get a sense that he's a young kid with a big imagination, like the Little Prince in the story! The story feels like it comes from a child's imagination, with the surreality that often accompanies a child describing their fantasies. 

(Sorry if these comments are a little haphazard; I wrote them as I was playing!)

I loved the introduction! It felt like an opening cutscene, or a film scene that plays before you see the movie title. 

Your writing is clear and expressive, as is the conversations! Dorian’s personality comes through in both the dialogue choices and the exposition - a personality that seems to be short on patience, confident, and vain - though in some instances, some of the language used feels a little more modern than in others.

Some bits of exposition felt a little bit long, though I liked that they gave me the feeling that I was reading Dorian's thoughts. Maybe integrating those thoughts while talking about Dorian making a facial expression or moving about the room or something might help it to feel more unified.

I was a little confused at how Dorian was wondering about disappointing Basil, while the latter had smiled when he went to dance with Henry. 

I knew something was going to happen with the painting, but I wasn’t expecting that ending! It felt powerful, though it did feel a little sudden. I'm not sure if I caught on earlier in the story about the painting being a literal reflection of Dorian - or vice versa? - but once I did, it made sense!

All in all, I really enjoyed this!

It definitely became clear to me by the end that the concept of being different and unique were what made you desirable. Though throughout the story, I'm not sure if I got enough context to fully understand why not being unique would lead Regular Girl's family to treat her the way they do. 

I think you have a good balance going of dialogue/exposition/narration! The introduction gave me a solid place to start without offloading too much information at once, and the conversation with the Demon didn't feel too lengthy.

The omniscient narrator was clear, but I agree with Naomi that it was especially hammered home when I got to make a choice for the Demon. It was unexpected - but really interesting! -  and maybe a little bit of clearer lead-up to it would be helpful. Since this is an adaptation of a fairy tale, I think it's effective and a rather strong way to have the player experience the story.

The choices felt like they were giving me an interesting variety of ways to respond to the situation, and they gave me a pretty clear sense of Regular Girl's personality.

I really enjoyed playing this through! It makes me want to know what Regular Girl will do -- if she'll actually go through with the Demon's request, or if she'll ignore it and have to face consequences. I'm excited to play the final version :D

While the beginning feels like a bit of an exposition dump, I can understand where it's coming from in how the original story is told. It may work better if the information was integrated throughout the story a little bit more, though.

The choices I was making felt a little uninformed at the beginning; while I've read the book, in the context of the game, I don't know who I am or what I'm doing. Are the choices I'm making deciding who I'm going to be/who I am? I'm not entirely sure if the choices I make change what's happening. 

Overall, it felt like the majority of the story was exposition, and some portions jumped in time as well. Since the story is being told in past tense, maybe an introduction into why Victor's telling this story could go a long way in grounding it!

The negative choices - where what I thought was going to happen didn't, such as trying to call Henry but getting the answering machine - felt successful! I felt like the story was nudging me in a certain direction, but in a way that felt meaningful to Victor.

There's a bit of disparity between Victor's internal thoughts and the voice of the choices he makes. I feel like this works, however, since it's almost as if he's ignoring his subconscious and goes ahead with his work anyways.

Frankenstein's voice sounds a little formal, for having learned to speak from listening in on a modern family.

Beth's reactions to Victor telling her about Frankenstein - especially after Victor talks to her about his talk with the monster - felt a bit disconnected from what was going on. I felt like there were good hints and lead-up to the conversation immediately after - about Victor being gay - but it felt a bit sudden after what just happened with Frankenstein.

I really liked the different endings that change based on how your relationship to Henry changes! I kind of felt like there weren't huge consequences for Victor's/the creatures actions in the larger world, however.

(Sorry if my comments are a little haphazard, I wrote my thoughts out as I was playing!)

How would you describe the protagonist? Based on where it's going, do you have any assumptions about the ending? If so, what are they? What do you feel when playing/what do you think the mood is? Any other comments/feedback would be much appreciated!