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I was hoping we'd hear from you again after your submission to the last jam. Glad you're back!

First, regarding word count and inspirations: I don't know if you've read my story yet, but I tossed two ideas before I got to the one I submitted. I tried to write something involving space orcs, but I couldn't make it funny enough to pull off. I tried to use the high elves, and that didn't work either; I got two hundred words in and realized I was out of story. So I can definitely relate to the struggle to come up with something workable and get it submitted.

As to the story itself - You've improved as a writer even since the last jam (I went back and compared). Both halves of the story moved along well, your dialogue is good, and your imagery is nicely done. I appreciated the use of customized figures as a kind of 'dramatis personae' in your moodboard as well. I get why you went meta - always a risky move, but one you pulled off well. In all seriousness, I think you've said something really meaningful about the nature of writing, inspiration, and creative pressure, and you've woven the concept of a 'weapon' into that conversation nicely.

I was left wanting to know more about the specific story Rose and Piper are talking about in the first half, and why they're comparing their own situation to it, so if you ever revisit the story-within-the-story, please post it where we can read it!

I have shared your comments with my daughter and she greatly appreciates the kind words and constructive input! It was very good practice for her in prep for school start (writing to a deadline with constraints), and your comments made her appreciate more how much this sort of writing is not a singular struggle, but one that everyone participating had to deal with.

I'm very glad my comments were appreciated! I think it's really cool that your kids are participating in these jams as young writers, and I hope their overall experiences have and continue to be positive. (I'm reviewing stories in a random order, so I will get to the other Hobby Fuzion Jr. submission at some point.)