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Thanks for the comment! It's so great to get some writing feedback. For the (maybe overly) technical bits, I'm gonna take a guess you mean the Snag/Evac Operation Actions on the inside flap (1st page, left)? Or was it more so an overall tone kinda thing?

The inside flap was my attempt to summarize and adapt the greater portion of Jean Verne's Follow the Convoy pamphletinto one pamphlet section. The inside of the pamphlet, the tables, map and tile types were the most fun to write, :)

I'm hoping to read and review Hyperspeed submissions on Thursday.  Looking forward to giving KPED a read!

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It was specifically this line where my head spun: "Order intel nets the Crew the Sons’ pre-planned path–A5 to E1 (Warden’s Discretion, see interior map)–and the rival zones (give players the Snag Map)." Very technical and dense for the first lines a reader will see.

Makes sense that things eased off when I got to the actual adventure part and it made a lot more sense then!