I really wanted to like this more than I did.
It’s got so much potential. But the problem lies in the Them vs Her.
It should be, say, the Battle Sisters vs the Rebel Commando or something like that. But I have no idea who is who. Vagueness leads to disinterest.
I saw somebody say that this should’ve focused on one specific scene, and I agree. What you have here is a great outline for a full novel. You have your story beats, your protagonist, her arc, and the conclusion.
But as a short story it lacks, as it doesn’t draw people in.
I hope to see more of your work. These aren’t hard challenges to overcome, so long as you’re patient and practice the craft more.