I love what you've done with the theme. Taking the two concepts of strength and intelligence and making them different aspects of the same character is a great way to play the two ideas off against each other. I love too how you've made Lyra's downfall the toxic machismo that's often mistaken for or thought necessary to real strength, that's also a great angle to take - overall it's a good twist on the theme and a thoughtful exploration of some important ideas.

I think in future you might be well-advised to take into consideration the limitations of the format you're using. 1000 words isn't a lot when you get down to it, and you went with a very broad-strokes overview of Lyra's career. The story might have been more engaging and captivating if you chose instead to really get into Lyra's head during a single pivotal event - such as the final battle where she realizes the extent of her own weaknesses. That could make a really powerful character piece that still addresses the themes and ideas you're exploring.

I did enjoy the piece, and I really did like the angle you took on the theme. Thank you!

Lots of repetition of 'strength vs intelligence', 'weakness', and 'exploit' started to feel like it's only purpose was to remind us you were doing this to theme. Use different words if you're going to say the same thing, but try to avoid it altogether unless it's required.

You could probably delete the third paragraph entirely as it just repeats the same stuff from the one before it.

 Telling us how great a character is can't hold a candle to showing us how awesome they are in the story. While we are constantly told how she is strong and smart, we don't see a lot of real evidence of it in story. The betrayal by a lieutenant felt like 'Oh, and this guy? This guy you weren't even shown before in the script? Well she trusts him, but he sold her out!' Who is this traitor? Why did they do it? HOW did they do it? Did they just straight up stab her literally, or did he move defenders from a spot and let the enemy in? Were they working alone?

I also feel that unless she had some really reliable intel/spies, a lot of the opponents' plans (cut supply lines, starve them out, night raids etc) should have at least done something to her army's morale if even in the temporary. This could have been a stronger tale had some of it worked, as it could have easily reduced her armies numbers, their loyalty resulting in the betrayal, and even made this clash a challenge with Lyra fatigued, half-starved, maybe even a little paranoid...

Even so, I look forward to more. I want to see you grow as a writer cos I think there's something here, so don't give up.

Interesting read, a bit heavy handed at times. Like others, I believe it would've been better to focus on a segment of this tale, and expound upon it so. Hope to see improvements on the next jam. Keep it up!

I think you have a very encouraging character outline and basis for a novel or trilogy just on the description alone, all of that is really hard to fit in the page limit. Look forward to detailed moments of this character in future jams for sure.

I really wanted to like this more than I did.

It’s got so much potential. But the problem lies in the Them vs Her.

It should be, say, the Battle Sisters vs the Rebel Commando or something like that. But I have no idea who is who. Vagueness leads to disinterest.

I saw somebody say that this should’ve focused on one specific scene, and I agree. What you have here is a great outline for a full novel. You have your story beats, your protagonist, her arc, and the conclusion.

But as a short story it lacks, as it doesn’t draw people in.

I hope to see more of your work. These aren’t hard challenges to overcome, so long as you’re patient and practice the craft more.

before I actually drop a review, is this disqualified? It didn’t follow the rules of the Writing Jam.

Just wondering 

I think you have the bones of a good story here, but you need to focus more on dramatic moments and descriptive action over exposition. You tell us constantly how strong and intelligent Lyra is, but you never demonstrate it through her actions or specific exploits, and you leave it vague as to what faction she's a part of. This story would do great with more specificity behind it - expanding on the moment of betrayal (as mentioned by another commenter) would be a great opportunity!

I would have loved to see this story be just a single moment well described, specifically the moment where Lyra was betrayed. But because of the way it was told the story felt like an outline rather than a narrative. Lots of telling events vaguely rather than getting into a moment and creating immersion. Potential to be a really cool plot, but not in a 1000 word limit. 

I found it a tad heavy handed, but I can see the bones of a wonderful story! My one piece of advice would be to commit to your descriptions more. The bit about Lyra being betrayed by one of her Lieutenants at a critical moment was great, but it was held back by its vagueness. Hope to see you again at the next jam!