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Caracal429

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A member registered May 14, 2021 · View creator page →

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Always love me some Beastmen, and the Ratmen as villains was a surprise twist!

Needed some more editing, but I’m all in for this type of story.

Having different chapters was a great idea!

Felt that did impact some parts being too slow, others too fast, and unfortunately, though there’s great build up to being allies, there’s not a whole lot of allyship present.

Lol yeah, hey, I had a great time with it, I was just waiting for the funnies to happen, and happen they didn't.

So… definitely not what was advertised.

Story was legit great, but I’d work on the name for next story.

Nice twist ending! Overall had a great time!

We'll have to agree to disagree there, but I see where you're coming from.

To me, an allyship would involve active participation from both sides, but again, that's all within the purviews of your conundrum of philosophy. 

It's still a solid story with great action and a thus-far greatly unique premise. I just can't give it full marks regarding how laid-out I feel the theme was and is.

Glad you enjoyed it!

So, I wrote the beginning, and then I wrote the ending, and then the middle got crammed in, so I can see what you mean with the pacing.

Still, always good to have satisfied customers!

Glad you liked it! I was actually worried a bit by the pacing, as I had to do a lot of trimming, but it's nice to hear it was somewhat cohesive.

Glad you liked it!

I’ve held onto this idea for a few jams, and was tempted to use it last jam, but I’m glad I held back.

Just my luck this theme aligned perfectly with what I was looking for 👌 

Oh yeah, that was some good fun!

Not absolutely sure which factions these are all supposed to represent, but I had a great time with this story.

Great story, though perhaps a bit lacking on the allies part.

Seemed to lean a bit more toward: desperate prisoner takes advantage of a situation to run than an actual team up.

Still a good read, though. Very atmospheric.

Also, you probably guessed, but I typed “fear”, and Autoincorrect probably went “Oops, you silly! Let me fix that for you!”

Leading to that rather nonsensical sentence there

Sly usage of allyship, though perhaps doesn’t quite hit the mark for me.

Still, did a great job in keeping me interested despite the lack of overall conflict. I’ve had stories this writing jam that were nothing but action bore me.

The overall message is great, though a bit heavy-handed in the third column.

Had a great time with this one!

Always love a good story centered around the Guerrillas.

Yeah, this was great. Some grammatical errors hold it back some, but this has one of the more solid “unlikely allies” premises I’ve read thus far!

Make sure to link the YouTube Link on discord so we can check it out tomorrow!

Unfortunately, this didn’t seem to flow the greatest with the theme. I say unfortunately because I had such a great time that it hurts me to have to knock off a point or two for that.

Yeah, this was great. Loved the flow, and I’m always one for rooting for the underdog, so seeing a rat-person take on a battle brother is just my cup of tea.

One of the better set ups thus far in the Jam, held back slightly by a few grammatical errors, and unfortunately not featuring an abundance of unlikely allies  teaming up until the last paragraphs.

Still, I had a great time.

Oh heck yeah, exactly what I was looking for!

First off, before I get to anything else: I love that there was no clear villain. Kinda hard to catch, really, but people really do limit themselves greatly when it comes to options of antagonists. Now, for Age of Fantasy, I get it. There’s a lot of factions crowding the land already.

But Grimdark future? Perfect place to drop the greatest dear mankind has: the unknown.

The allyship felt genuine, two factions believably fighting against an unknowable fear.

Probably my personal favorite story so far.

I thought so!

Probably should rewind so I can catch back up with the ongoing story!

In some alternate universe, I can totally see myself writing the “punch” Variant of the story.

Yeah, it does take down the stakes some, I agree. 

But then I would’ve had to change the ending, like, the one thing I’m happy with, lol!

I originally did, and then I looked and I was 400 words over.

It’s a concept I’ve held onto for the last jam or two, and I’m just happy that we had a theme that fit the story so well.

Something I love about the updated lore is not only how every faction is given a good reason to be able to fight each other, but also how many factions are given perfect reasons to team up!

Then all respect towards you for finding a style you like and sticking with it.

Tbf, I read this before the extremely erotic Dwarf x Battle Brother story, so there’s a lot more variety here than I expected in theme…

Hey, it’s a simple mistake I used to make all the time.

And despite that, it was still a fun story! That means something for sure!

Bit confusing at the start.

Had a good time with it, overall. Needed some editing.

Usually, there’s an unspoken faction that a majority seems to favor writing about each jam. Seems it’s the Battle Brother’s turn

Great fun!

Definitely a swing taken differently from most stories.

It got perhaps a bit too comical in the middle portion for my tastes, but that’s just me.

Was a fan, though it probably could’ve used some more editing.

Main error I saw was jumped from past tense to present tense too much. It made it somewhat confusing.

Had a good time, though.

It was pretty good!

Got a bit confused throughout; the name Cogwyn rings a bell. Is this a sequel?

Fun negotiations; wish we’d gotten more of them actually teaming up and doing stuff.

Glad you liked the ending!

I was worried I’d have to cut it for time and space, but I persevered and had to cut more fight for it.

Worth it, in my humble opinion.

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed! 👍 

Glad you liked it.

I’m always an AoF guy, but I like that the Writing Jams force us to stretch beyond our comfort zone and try new things with the randomized selection.

Mostly been seeing Grimdark stuff from my angle of things.

Oh, no worries.

I got called out in my story for a confusing use of the word “beings”.

We all can improve; that’s why we enjoy these events!

All mess ups are homonyms.

Steal instead of steel, pray instead of prey, etc.

Technically spelling, but it’s something spellcheck can’t catch.

Homonyms are annoying like that.

Nice catch!

Oof, that’ll be points off for clarity, but you can’t blame a guy for trying.

Glad you enjoyed it!

As is common with many stories submitted in this jam, this story needed more space so things could breathe.

A second draft would’ve helped some too, as there were some grammar and spelling errors throughout.

Despite that, I had a really good time. Great story to start off with, nice twist at the end, and exquisite artwork.

Perhaps the most literal “between a rock and a hard place” I’ve read so far

glad you enjoyed it!

Yeah, I should’ve taken more time to better implement the theme. As it stands, only the Giant has it fully shown