This was a solid entry, and I enjoyed the story you were telling. You started off very strong but seemed a little rushed towards the end - judging by the submission time I'm guessing you had a crowded weekend? It happens.
It seemed at the beginning that the war had been going on for a while, and yet the climactic encounter between Laizen and his enemies seems like the first battle. Either would have worked with the story you wanted to convey. Some additional clarity there might help you focus on your themes and weave them in more completely.
Beyond that you had some very strong imagery - the opening description of Laizen's tasteless meal flavoured by filth shook free from the ceiling is very powerful and sets the tone perfectly.