Play book
The Strongest Will's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to the Theme | #23 | 3.334 | 3.421 |
| Flow & Clarity | #29 | 2.975 | 3.053 |
| Overall | #31 | 3.198 | 3.281 |
| Concept & Originality | #32 | 3.283 | 3.368 |
Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
I feel like the ending was quite rushed. It didn't make too much sense and the spelling errors multiplied, just felt like a time crunch. Cool idea though, and I'd love to read more about this planet defending itself next Jam :)
Respect to the guardsman.
This was a solid entry, and I enjoyed the story you were telling. You started off very strong but seemed a little rushed towards the end - judging by the submission time I'm guessing you had a crowded weekend? It happens.
It seemed at the beginning that the war had been going on for a while, and yet the climactic encounter between Laizen and his enemies seems like the first battle. Either would have worked with the story you wanted to convey. Some additional clarity there might help you focus on your themes and weave them in more completely.
Beyond that you had some very strong imagery - the opening description of Laizen's tasteless meal flavoured by filth shook free from the ceiling is very powerful and sets the tone perfectly.
I liked this story, had hoped that the Laizen guy had ordered an artillery strike on his location, but it still served as is. The Blessed Sisters alongside the Custodians make me feel like this was before the Sisters went their separate ways from the Founders' vision, but I guess there could be some Sects(?) that support the establishment in canon. Fighting Custodians though, dang.
Actually intended to be Silent Sisters, so I guess I should have cleared that up. Sorry.
enjoyable read, but was this maybe run through a translator program? The grammar and punctuation shifts seemed consistent with that.
The doc kept telling me to auto correct some stuff so probably a little. I also haven't written anything in a decade so it is what it is, haha
First of all, I absolutely LOVE the ending.
Feels epic and earned, and the final lines read all too quickly.
Now unfortunately, there were some problems.
Once again, a great story is hit hard by bad grammar. This definitely needed a spell check and a second draft. The clarity was a bit all over the place.
Still, it was a great read, and I now crave bread.
Interesting concept. I like it.
Yeah, take that Founder's Servants. Boo! Haha great story setup. :)