ok first the good.
This felt like a very good set up to much larger story, and in that story, I think that the themes of unlikely allies would likely have been at the forefront.
Having the grandiose schemes and machinations of the star host are great plot point for mortal to have a perspective on and I think there’s a lot there to work with.
I think that there’s a lot to be said about creating a gritty, realistic scene of war, that depicts violence, and a very human way.
The stuff I think could use your focus
I think the first and largest problem with the story is that the theme of unlikely allies is to be told in the next story, but it is not in this story
It may be just me, but having no description of the old one, or the faithful made it jarring to try to place in my mind what it was that was happening, whether it was symbolic and metaphor or literal.
Thank you for writing