ok first the good.

This felt like a very good set up to much larger story, and in that story, I think that the themes of unlikely allies would likely have been at the forefront.

Having the grandiose schemes and machinations of the star host are great plot point for mortal to have a perspective on and I think there’s a lot there to work with.

I think that there’s a lot to be said about creating a gritty, realistic scene of war, that depicts violence, and a very human way.

The stuff I think could use your focus

I think the first and largest problem with the story is that the theme of unlikely allies is to be told in the next story, but it is not in this story

It may be just me, but having no description of the old one, or the faithful made it jarring to try to place in my mind what it was that was happening, whether it was symbolic and metaphor or literal.

Thank you for writing

Nice. A very, very good story! 

In the second chapter I didn't at first understand who was fighting whom, but that cleared up.

Can't wait to read more of you!

I enjoy the meaning within the title. The imagery within the story and especially the first part was great. The Jackals are not used often as antagonists. I enjoy the subversion. Savage jackals attacking outnumbered colonist HDF kinda gave me zulu vibes.

That is a good hook for a long novel. A decent cliffhanger and all. Nice!

Enjoyable read. Half expected The One to pull the good ol' "Assuming control" move on the human, but alas, a gecko handing over a miniature pyramid is also good.