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(+1)

Music and art was good, I liked sad Satori. 


The writing had a few bugbears of mine: Filler sentences like "she sensed malice in the air", burly detective syndrome stuff like calling Satori "the mindreader" or calling mamizou "the pseudo-avian". 

This is just something that stuck out to me but, I read Aya and Mamizou's dialogue as like, American Southern? They had a certain air to their dialogue that read that like. Mamizou's "yers" and shortening of every -ing word.

(+1)

hello i did the writing

i am not familiar with burly detective syndrome. i simply synonyms. it is a bit stilted yeah

aaand mamizou was supposed to sound southern, yeah. its a trope ive seen a couple times in translations of her text. i think she might have a dialect in japanese that has gotten that sorta response. aya was just supposed to talk fast though oops