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(+1)

Warning: I wrote this when I was half asleep, so there might be typos. XD

Life has a grudge against us, I suppose.

When my grandma would watch the news, it would always be about a shooting at a school, or on the streets, or someone getting hurt in general. Even my young nephews watch videos about song artists getting killed, or getting hurt in prison. So, I know how discouraging it can be.

That's not pathetic. I constantly wonder why I'm even alive. I mean, there honestly doesn't seem to be a reason. I'm just...existing, and it is really depressing.

Even when my mom was alive, there were times when I got depressed. And my mom spoiled me, and loved me unconditionally, so I also felt like I should be happy. It was always either my cousins or my bad grades at school bringing me down, and I hated it.

I'm playing a Unity game right now that doesn't have saves. It has four separate game days, and it is really long. Plus, when it crashes on Winlator, I have to play it from the beginning again. It is in a beta state as well, so the crashes happen because of game bugs, not Winlator. The game is called Your Boyfriend, and the creator has said that it doesn't have saves because her version of Unity didn't have saves already. But she uses monobleeding edge too, so that doesn't make sense.

I guess they just like being able to vote, and being able to choose who runs the country.

Trust me, we're mad as hatters over here. XD Society has made everyone self-conscious about their image, the food here is too rich and fattening, and like I said before, the suicide rate is very high.

I always thought the UK was one of those places I could go to meet people who were actually nice and friendly where I didn't have to worry about peer pressure, or society judging me. I am so sorry that is how it actually is. The UK deserves better.

Well, I'm glad that you at least have that. I just hope that you don't feel too bad because of the lack of proper medicine.

I get that. My cousin, my other cousin, my nephews, and my cousins' boyfriend's clothes take priority over mine. It's not fun waiting to wash your clothes, or sheets.

That does not sound like a safe working environment. I am really glad that you don't work there anymore.

There does seem to be plenty of fun involved, but, I could only continue for my friend if sexual harrassment is involved.

If they treat their workers better, they wouldn't have that problem. I wish that they could see that.

I get what you mean by it being good to face your fears, like overcoming stage fright, so that you can be an actress, but I am terrified of heights, so I can't stand riding rollercoasters, and my cousins know that I hate heights. I think they are just sadistic.

Everyone's bodies are different, so I understand that. My cousins and nephews are always hot when I'm cold, so it sucks, because they always open the windows when it is cold outside, leaving me freezing.

Higher ups, do tend to be a bit snobby, and rude. At least, that's what I've heard. I really do hope that he got fired, and someone nicer took his place.

When I watch an english dub of One Piece, I am shocked by how bad some of the english voice acting is, and I love that anime, so I understand. Some characters voices make me cringe, and I wonder how the team that made the anime thought they were a good choice to voice that character.

That's perfectly fine. People have different pet peeves that turn them off. For me, it's jump scares in games. I will have a mini heart attack playing Five Nights At Freddy's, and I don't find it fun to have a character suddenly jump out at you.

Still, I am glad that you include it in your games, because I really love it. And you pick the best voice actors too! It's heaven. Yandere Heaven~

Because you want to be seen as a person, not something to be owned.

Well, that is better than a yandere that physically hurts the mc to punish them, and then says that it is their fault for making them like that, or that they made them jealous. Which is strange, because in the game that I'm playing called Your Boyfriend, Peter, the love interest can do all of that, but it depends on the choices that you make. He can be the sweetest yandere you've ever known if you make the right dialogue choices, which is what I'm doing now.

That might be why you created him. Maybe he is  a guilty pleasure of yours?

Neither one of us will be able to go then, because I also don't have a passport. It would be nice, though.

I ate like two big bags of them, and I had two cups of coffee, which I think kept the hunger away because of all the caffeine.

But, it is true that when you diet, you should at least eat food that tastes good, but doesn't have too many calories. I love tuna fish sandwiches, even if mayonaise is fattening, because tuna is fish, and fish is healthy, right? So I feel like that balances it out.

Here we have fried or frozen food every day, but, personally, I try to watch my intake of it. Like, if I know we are having fried chicken for dinner, I will try to stave off my hunger with multiple cups of coffee, and a few walnuts, until then, or if we have chicken nuggets, or pizza rolls, I won't get too many of them. We also always have noodles, but I can't tell if they are healthy or not, because even though they seem healthy, the seasoning in the packet might have a lot of sodium, which isn't good for you. But, we hardly ever have sweets...okay, my nephews do, but my cousin will usually say that's their after school snack, so don't touch it, so I usually don't have to worry about sugar content, except in coffee, and then, I go wild. XD But, I do sometimes have oatmeal, which is reaaally good, by the way, and very healthy.

I don't hate celery, but I at least want to eat it with peanut butter. That is honestly delicious! Eating it by itself, would be miserable.

Since we no longer have multigrain bars, I have either cereal, bacon and eggs, or oatmeal for breakfast. Now, while I do like cereal, I know that it isn't very healthy, so I do prefer oatmeal, because it is healthy AND it tastes good. I only have bacon and eggs when someone makes it for a family meal, because I don't like it as much  It is greasy, and fattening, and I like oatmeal a lot better.

 Yeah, a shake really is just a drink anyway, so that is understandable. I imagine drinking it while eating a protein bar might make it easier to have for breakfast.

My favorite soup is chicken noodle soup. A bit basic, but it's healthy and tasty~ But, yeah, lunch isn't really my favorite meal, anyway.

Dinner for me is either chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, fried chicken, with some veggies and rice, or noodlea, so, yes, kind of heavy. I haven't had tuna fish since we last got some months ago, and I miss it. That was healthy and tasty, but, oh well.

I haven't had chocolate in a while, but I have coffee every day, and I can't function without it. XD

My nephews aren't even that bad. At least they keep it on the toilet seat. But, yeah, cleaning up pee isn't fun, and neither is washing the mop out...or being told that I didn't clean it good enough, or that the mop still smells. It isn't my dog in the first place, so I shouldn't be cleaning up after it, but, then you add insult to injury by saying that I didn't do it right? Come on, that is not fair! >.<

My cousin only likes to watch the dog when her boyfriend is around, because the dog is scared of him, so I watch it a lot. When the kids get home, they play games when they should be watching it, and I end up looking after it again. At least they clean up its' poop, so that's something. But, yeah, it is stressful. It is a really big dog, so the kids can't walk it, because they don't have enough strength to keep it under control. And my cousin refuses to walk it as well. They say it is too expensive to pay for a dog trainer, and no one wants to train it. My cousins boyfriend yells orders at it, bit no one else can get it to listen to them. It is really depressing.

My cousin loves putting cinnamon in her coffee, but, I'm too scared to try it. I might put some in my tea when we get some more though, if it really is that good.

My mom used to put sugar on lemon slices, and eat them just like that, and it almost made me dislike lemons. But, I love lemonaid too much to stop drinking it. I also love lemon flavored candy. But not everyone has the same tastebuds or loves the same thing. I don't really like dark chocolate. I know that it is healthier than milk chocolate, and is good for your heart, but it is just SO bitter. I can eat it, but I would need to wash the taste out of my mouth with something.

Does turmeric tea taste good? I've never heard of it before.

I think that I was immune to the effects of coffee for a short while, but I guess that when you get tired enough, the caffeine can have some effect on your body...either that or it's because we have a different brand of coffee now. Either way, I am so addicted to coffee that I drink it even when there is no cream or sugar. I know that I have a problem, but I don't care. :D

I can get a full eight hours of sleep, and still feel tired, so I think I understand. It's even worse if you are woken up, only to be told to clean up, or to wash the mop out. After that, I don't feel like doing anything for the rest of the day.

Warm weather can make you tired. It might be the reason why some kids and teenagers say that they will do a lot of things for summer break, and then end up doing nothing. So, don't feel bad about that. And, you don't have to force yourself to do anything. If you still feel the same way this summer, it is completely okay! ^-^

Ooh, you garden? That is so cool! I would be terrible at that, mostly because I would forget to water them every day. That's why playing games and reading is my hobby. XD

I have the opposite problem. It feels like I'm not doing much of anything, like I'm not doing enough, and I hate it. So being behind on stuff means that you have things that you need to do, something to work on, and that makes it sound like you have a goal to achieve. That's a good thing, because no one can say that you are being lazy, or that you aren't doing anything. So you are doing great.

At least you can go out. I've been a shut in for so long, that if I tried to go out and interact with people, even just to go grocery shopping, I feel like I would screw it all up. I would need to relearn how to socialize, and even then, I would be like a terrified rabbit, in a world full of hungry wolves. I couldn't do it.

I thought about leaving, going to a shelter, or something. But, the thought of being around a bunch of strangers is scary, too. I'm also afraid of the unknown, and at least I know what to expect living with my relatives, but I don't know what will happen someplace else, or how other people will react to me, or how to deal with them. You are lucky to have gotten out of your own situation, and I really am happy for you.

For as long as I've been living with them, I thought that I had to do everything that they said, because I was living under their roof. But, it didn't mean that I always took the abuse that they gave me. Fighting and arguing with them only makes things worse, and they tell me that if I act out, I can give them back anything that they gave to me, and find a job, and leave. They know that I'm scared to go outside, so they use that to scare me into doing what they want. Or they say that I might as well do something since I'm not working...I hate it so much. You are the only one who understands me, and you are so far away. But, I am grateful to have you. I really am.

When you find something that you are comfortable with, it is hard to change to something else. Besides, Godot doesn't show graphics well on Winlator. Characters have missing hair, and clothes, and look like dress up dolls, the text doesn't show, and the background is a bunch of blurry colors that look like someone mixed paint together on a canvas. So I wouldn't be able to play your games anymore.

Aww, that is really sweet~ But, I found a visual novel maker called RenJs that I think is entirely web-based. I have already made a short game to thank someone who helped me when I was having trouble playing a game, and I want to make one for you too. All you have to do with RenJs is format your words correctly, and you have a game! You type the words into the text file for the script, change the name of the character in a different file, and it even comes with sprites that are free to use! 

It is almost like a sign telling me to make you a game. XD Joking, but I really do want to. One thing though - I really like the sprites that you used for your game "Solipsism Reigns". If those sprites are free to use, can you please tell me where to get them, because I forgot, and please tell me who to give credit to for the images. Thank you!

That reminds me of a youtuber who ordered food that people made and sold on a website. She did a google search for how long it would take for food poisoning to set in. XD Luckily, she was fine after eating all of that food. Your brother seems sweet to warn you about them though. It sounds like he really cares about you.

At that point, I would get my relatives to call the police on them and explain the situation. Maybe then they would listen, and write down what they need to tell you.

And don't worry about me judging you about not picking up the phone. I can't even leave this apartment, so I understand not being able to do something that most people would think is normal.

Now that I can make proper games, I think that I will be able to distract myself from my problems at least a little. I hope that things get better for you, too.

Since it's apparently been almost 50 days since you sent this according to itch, I just wanted to let you know that I did read it a while back >.< It's just I'm so buried with the game jam stuff for otome/josei jam atm that I haven't had a chance to actually type out a reply :( I didn't want you to think I had forgotten though! Especially since itch has now wiped off the notification of your message from my dashboard because it was so long ago T_T I'm just gonna bookmark the page so I can find it easier when I do eventually have a chance to respond!

I hope that you're okay though + that something sweet has happened recently that made you smile :3

(+1)

It's okay, I know how life can be sometimes. 

I am trying to make a short game to experiment more with RenJs, but the indentation is hard, because I have to write everything in a certain format. Oh, well, it might be easier than Renpy, but I wish that I could use Tyranobuilder, because it sounds so easy to use.

I am busy trying to dissociate from my relatives and life, which is why I am making a game to begin with. All I have as sprites are ai from a free ai generator site, and they're kind of bad, but, hey, they are free at least.

I hope your life gets better or is already starting to get better. I miss you, by the way. Stay safe, and happy~ \(^O^)/ (^_^)

Hey hey! Hope you are hanging in there! :3 I am… just about >.< haha.

I guess life does have a grudge against us :( My prize for finishing up with the game jams was a giant migraine xD And then when that finally went away, I went for a walk with my pops and fell in some stinging nettles x3 My fingers still sting now and it’s like 20 hours later or something o.O Not as bad as when it happened, but more like a dull sorta pins & needles kinda feeling where I got stung.

I’m sorry you struggle with that too :( It is indeed depressing not really knowing why you’re alive. I guess really, there’s not much of a reason for any of us humans to be alive when all we do as a species is parasitise the planet we live on >.< I feel like if nature had a will & a way to eradicate humanity, it would do so in a heartbeat, haha.

I guess the big difference between us and many other people is that they somehow manage to find a purpose that gives them a sense of belonging and a reason to keep going.

I do sort of get that from making games. It gives me something to get up in the morning for, but it’s not really the same as someone genuinely feeling like they have a reason to exist, more like a kinda coping mechanism because I’m forced to exist and need to do something with my time that helps me forget that x3

I will never understand how some people seemingly smile through everything even when stuff goes wrong, but like you said, for people like us, we can have happy times and be in good situations, but when something goes wrong, it’s all too easy to end up depressed right away :( 

I wish I could be one of those sorts of people who can easily brush stuff off and keep going!

Oh, boy, that’s not good >.< Did you ever manage to finish that game? :o 

I can understand games not having saves if they’re short. Heck, in the one I just released for O2A2, I purposefully removed the save system because it’s such a short game. But anything that takes 20+ mins to play should probably have a save/load system, otherwise it’s just gonna get frustrating >.<

Ooooh, right, I know of Your Boyfriend! I’ve never played the game myself because it doesn’t really appeal to me, but I’ve come across a LOT of Your Boyfriend stuff online while looking for yandere media in general, haha. 

At one point, it was so bad that I couldn’t really find anything else to read about because everyone was just posting about Your Boyfriend xD I never really understood why it was so popular tbh. I guess there must be something about it! It’s just never looked like my cup of tea personally.

That is a bit of a weird statement of the dev to make though cos if she’s using Naninovel to make it, the save/load system is there by default, so you would have to remove it on purpose. 

If she’s not using Naninovel, that explains why. But at the same time, from what I understand, it is CRAZY to attempt to make a VN with Unity if you’re not using Naninovel, haha. It’s just not done because it would be so awkward x3 You just use Naninovel, or you go use Ren’Py or something else!

Speaking of voting, we recently had a general election over here at the start of the month! Thankfully, the evil assholes who have been in power for waaaay too long have finally been kicked out :D I don’t exactly 100% support the party that have the most power now, as they are not who would get my vote, but they were the only party that stood a chance of kicking out the Conservatives here, and anything would have been better than continued Conservative rule x3

I have a feeling that those things you mentioned: society making everyone self-conscious about their image, the food being too fattening, and the suicide rate being high… I think they’re probably all problems plaguing countries that are ruled by capitalism >.< To me, it just seems like a broken system that’s only ever gonna result in a select few privileged people being happy while everyone else just suffers more and more as time passes :( 

But yeah, I mean, I’m sure there are PARTS of the UK where you probably would be able to go meet people who are actually nice and friendly, where you wouldn’t have to worry about peer pressure or being judged :3 I imagine Brighton might be one of those places! And there are definitely some lovely people over here. It’s just, my personal experience of British society in the area that I live is not a good one, haha. 

Yeah, there are different ways to face fears, and forcing someone who is scared of heights to go on rollercoasters is not one of the good ways >.< That’s just being mean :( 

There are definitely some strange casting decisions made in both the professional world of VA and in indie gaming x3 I’ve played a few games where the VA was decent enough, but the voice didn’t suit the character at all, and I wa just left thinking to myself… why on earth did the team cast that particular VA for that part? o.O

I don’t mind jump scares, but I also don’t really care for them, haha. They tend not to impact me in films, but in games, they will often get me x3 I would prefer to play stuff that purely builds the horror and anxiety through the atmosphere rather than the anticipation of jump scares, haha.

I also don’t really mind yanderes that hurt mc to punish them or blame them for how they feel, but it’s not something I’d really look for in a yandere. I’d enjoy it in a bad end I guess x3 but I would hope it wasn’t one of their main character traits, haha. 

Well, technically I didn’t create Takaaki or any of the Yandere Heaven guys since they are localised from the Japanese drama CDs, but probably with every original yandere character that I make, parts of them must be guilty pleasures x3 One day I hope to make the type of yandere that I would 100% love, haha. Cos so far, I only love parts of my characters. Maybe it’s impossible though cos no one can be perfect, even if they’re fictional >.<

I think as long as you don’t put heaps of mayo, then tuna fish sandwiches are fairly healthy :3 Although I guess the type of bread they are made with also plays a big part >.< I have to cut out bread for like 5/7 days of the week even though it’s one of my favourite foods T_T I also like tuna, so I just have a tin of flavoured tuna like jalapenos or lemon & thyme + some tomatoes for a lunch option. It’s not all that filling though :( 

I also stave off hunger with multiple cups of coffee x3 

I guess noodles can be healthy or unhealthy depending on how they’re cooked & what is cooked with them :3 A lot of the packets of instant noodles aren’t especially healthy, which sucks cos they’re tasty x3 But plain ones that you cook and add your own veg and stuff too isn’t too bad!

Years ago, for breakfast, I used to make this porridge in a mug, just plain porridge oats, add 1 egg, lots of cinnamon, and some natural sweetener. Stir it up, pop it in the microwave, and it’s a porridgy version of a cinnamon bun xD Didn’t taste that amazing, but it was healthy and good for energy, haha.

Yeah, I can’t stand greasy foods for breakfast >.< Whenever I am away on holiday if I stay in a place that does breakfasts, I feel sick just looking at people with plates of full English breakfast piled high xD I don’t really like big breakfasts or hot food in the morning!

I can’t function without coffee either and I kinda hate that I need it so much x3 At the same time, I do really love the taste, so I can’t give it up just cos of the caffeine because I’d be missing out on a taste that I love too >.<

It really sucks that you’ve been lumped with a lot of the responsibilities of a dog that isn’t even yours :( If they don’t have the time or patience to look after it properly, they should never have got one in the first place!

My brother can’t stand anything lemon-tasting, but I quite like lemon :D My grandma always used to eat grapefruit on its own and I have no idea how she could stomach that x3

I like turmeric tea, but it’s probably not for everyone :3 You’ll have to try it someday if you can and see what you think! I feel like most people who like spiced stuff would probably like it, like if someone likes spiced chai. My dad doesn’t like it much, haha. 

I tend to drink my coffee with only the tiiiiiniest splash of milk or just black x3 I like my coffee to essentially punch me in the face, haha. We always buy the strongest coffee we can find!

Yeah, I have to plan carefully if I know I’m gonna have to do any chores or life admin-type stuff because I know it will wipe me out pretty fast, especially if any of it involves going outside >.< it’s like I just have to accept that if I can manage to do those things, I will have done so at the cost of my energy for the remainder of the day.

I’m a novice gardener, yeah x3 Not really very good at it, but most of my plants are still alive, so that’s something I guess, haha. Watering them hasn’t proved too much a problem because once it became part of my routine, it’s just like I do it automatically at the same time every day :D The slugs have eaten and destroyed one of my plant babies though T_T Nothing I could do cos I’m purposefully not using pesticides and such, as the whole reason I’ve planted stuff is to help the bees & other pollinators! So I wouldn’t wanna accidentally poison them >.<

In theory, no one can say I’m being lazy with everything I’m doing, buuuut, in reality, everyone in my family besides my dad and brother thinks I’m useless for not having a job >.< and if they’re kind enough to not think I’m useless, they just feel sorry for me instead because they’re all getting on with their lives, studying or employed, and every time they see me, I’m just stuck in the same place, still making games, not making money, haha.

And ofc, the government still just sees me as lazy & useless because I’m not employed so not contributing to the economy >.< And anyone who is ‘economically inactive’ as they put it, is basically someone to be looked down on :( I guess cos a capitalist society doesn’t value creative skills unless they happen to also make lots of money >.<”

It sucks so much that you don’t have anyone you can rely on for support to go out with :( Me and my brother may not always get on, but I don’t know what I’d do without him! I wouldn’t be able to go to the shops and stuff alone cos it’s too much >.< Just having someone with me means I can do so much more than if I didn’t have anyone.

If I didn’t have anyone, I would also be a shut-in, too scared to ever leave the house :( It sucks we don’t live closer together because maybe we would be able to support each other with stuff like that if we did!

That’s very understandable to be afraid of the unknown. If I were in your position, I would probably also stay with family even if it’s not ideal because I’d be too scared of what might happen if I took my chances with strangers >.< At the same time, sticking with what was familiar was also how I wasted years of my life being trapped with abusive people, so it’s really tough to know what the best call is in situations like that :( 

I just really wish that your relatives would value you more and treat you better!!

They shouldn’t use the fact that they’re giving you a place to stay as blackmail to hold over you or guilt-trip you into doing everything they want and abusing/taking advantage of you being there >.< It’s just wrong.

If I had superpowers, I would try to figure out a way to make them actually appreciate you! >.<

Oh, boy, yeah, that’s not ideal if Godot stuff doesn’t work well with Winlator! >.< Since O2A2 jam just finished, I wonder if there are lots of fun games out that you would be able to run on Winlator cos they should all be short and small ones :3 I know there are a lot that I’m excited to check out myself!

I managed to submit something to the jam, but only just because my stupid PC is broken/unusable again :( Even though the new one they sent is under 2 months old! It’s just had problems since the first day they sent it, and now it just has permanent loops of blue screens of death so I can’t use it >.<

They want to try and fix it, but I feel like they shouldn’t have that chance when they already sent me 1 faulty PC. The 2nd PC was their chance. Now this one is clearly also faulty, why would I believe that if they send a 3rd one it will work? I just wish they would give me my money back so I can buy one from somewhere else :( 

In the meantime, I am stuck just using the potato laptop again!

That sounds pretty cool about RenJs! Have you been experimenting with it much? :o 

You don’t have to make me something though, you silly sausage x3 You could be making a game for yourself instead with the same time and effort :3

Sadly, the Solipsism Reigns sprites weren’t free >.< I had to buy an entire series of sprite generators and then make them from scratch using all the different body/hair/face/clothing parts in the generator x3 They were fun to make because of how much customisation there was! But it wasn’t all that cheap to buy all of the generators :( 

I hope making games has indeed provided you with a distraction :3 Maybe one day, you will get as obsessed as me, and then it’ll be all you ever think about xD I’m not sure that’s necessarily a good thing, haha, but it is an effective weapon against depression at least x3

Tyrano was definitely very easy to use, so it’s a shame you’re not able to try it out :( I hope you’re getting on okay with RenJs though :3 

I’m sorry it’s taken me so ridiculously long to write a proper reply anyhow >.< I feel like I’ve been gone forever o.O Or like I last messaged you yesterday, but months have passed and that hasn’t really registered in my brain >.< This is precisely why I am terrible relationship material, haha. Cos it doesn’t matter how much I care about a person, if I end up with tunnel vision on project stuff, especially when jam deadlines are involved, no matter how much I want to reply to stuff or spend time doing other things, my brain doesn’t allow it T_T

I just end up stuck like a hamster running on a wheel unable to stop until the jam ends and the wheel is physically taken away from me >.<

Now that I’m out of that mindset and my PC is broken, I’m able to do stuff like type this again :3 But at the same time, I’m also kinda buried by everything else I neglected during the jams, which means my current to-do list just makes me want to run away from the world and hide in a cave cos it’s too much, haha.

I hope things have been looking up for you at least :3 And I have missed you also! Stay safe and happy yourself!! ^-^

(+1)

I'm doing my best! I hope you can keep hanging on as well. 

That sounds really painful. The worst insect sting that I ever got was from a misquito. I hope that remains the case.

Hmm...maybe it would be like Noah's Ark. Only humans who have been good to the environment could live.

I wish that I had such a purpose. Those people are truly lucky.

I think that I am better at just writing than making a game. RenJs won't even load if I don't use indentation properly, so I have to copy the script, and add it back in little by little to find out where I messed up. But, at least I can say that when I write, I can momentarily escape reality. I guess that is all that I can hope for.

Feelings can be cruel that way. Sometimes, I feel that I have no control over them, and it sucks. Those are the times that I want to escape into a game or a story.

If we could be strong enough to push away our negative feelings, it would be like a super power with how incredible it would be.

Yes, I finished it~ Technically, the game isn't done, but I have finished the fourth day, even though they are still adding stuff to that day.

Well, it won't be everyone's cup of tea,( day four has a very...graphic sex scene), but it breaks the fourth wall sometimes, and the love interest is very interesting.

I don't remember if she used Naninovel or not. It's been a while since I played it, because I had to delete it to make room for other games. But, I honestly hated the lack of a save feature, because the emulator kept making the game crash. They can create a password so that only people paying can play the game, but it's too hard to add a save feature or use a different engine?

That really is a relief. Over here, the old president Donald Trump has been replaced with Joe Biden. He is way better than Trump, so that's also really good.

The government wants everyone to act, look, and think a certain way, and to live the way that THEY think is right, and it puts so much stress on people. Only the people who are able to adapt to how society changes can thrive.

That's okay. I haven't had many good experiences in America either. At least, past my pre-teen years. Life can be really hard, and society doesn't make it easier.

 But, if Brighton is as nice as you say, it might make a great vacation spot one day.

And, I have heard of so many accidents on rollercoasters, that it is also a dangerous thing to pressure someone into going on it.

I know what you mean. Looking back at some games where characters have good voices, but the voice doesn't match the character, I remember not wanting to play them anymore because that honestly ruined the immersion for me.

Since I tend to like more romantic games, I think that I like drama the most. I know that it isn't comparable to jumpscares, but I only play horror games if they have romance anyway, so jumpscares aren't really what I focus on anyway.

I'm not judging if you can handle yandere like that. I think that I am completely turned off by those types of yandere because, since I haven't met many nice people in my life, I tend to like yandere that are kind and gentle. Softer yandere, you know? They make me feel loved.

Make a love interest with all of the traits that I love? Why did you give me that idea? Now, I have to do it! I have always wanted a love interest that would make me want to play a game over and over again, even after getting every ending. I kind of gave up on the game that I was making, because having to rewrite the script so that the indentation was perfect became frustrating, but I think that I will just make a new game with the idea of a love interest that would be perfect in my eyes.

I cannot tell a lie - I love mayonnaise so much that I put too much on the sandwhich every time. Buuut, I use wheat bread, which is healthy...right? XD

Wow. I could never eat jalapenos like that, because I'm sensitive to spicy food. Even hot sauce is too much heat for me.

Even though I love coffee, I need either sugar or creamer in it, and I learned very quickly that you use up too much of both of those things if you have multiple cups of coffee a day. I was scolded by my cousin for using too much cream and sugar, even though I needed the coffee. Three more relatives came to visit, so it is very hectic. More dishes and other things to clean, and I feel like I'm the only one doing any cleaning. But, I won't trauma dump on you. Just know that I have to sneak coffee sometimes. :P

I'm kind of tired of packaged noodles, because my cousin always buys them. At this point, I'm contemplating writing a novel, and selling it, just so that I have the money to buy foods that I like.

If I try to make that, my cousin will make a disgusted face, ask what I'm doing, then say that I am wasting eggs and cinnamon. But, now I want to try it. XD

I have a problem where if the food isn't sweet, it doesn't seem like a breakfast food. Probably because that is the one time that I know that I can have sweets. There are too many kids here now, so they get snacks before anyone else, so if there aren't enough,I get nothing. >.<

But, your way of thinking is smart. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so, it should be healthy but...try telling that to my sweet tooth. :D

For me, I think it's the caffeine more than the taste, since I drown the taste in flavored creamer and sugar. I literally need it to function though. Being an introvert with a large family, and doing many chores every day means that if you don't have caffeine in your system, then when someone tells you to clean the kitchen for the third time in the day, or the dog keeps barking, and you have to shush it on your own till it's growling and lunging at you, you WILL be feeling the fatigue by the afternoon.

The sad part about it is that my young nephews who wanted it now want to put it in a shelter, but my cousin said that's not their decision to make! >.< All because my cousins boyfriend picked the dog out, and my cousin is too scared of him to ask him to get rid of the dog! So, who suffers because of all of this? Me! I think it's my punishment for not getting my own place. Or the universe telling me that leaving this place, no matter how scared I am, is better than this. But...at least here, I know what to expect and what I will have to go through. Out there? It's a mystery.

My mom used to eat lemons after sprinkling a little sugar on them, and I thought that was really strange. I always wondered why she didn't make lemonade instead. But, I love lemonade and lemon candy. Grapefruit is the only fruit that I can't eat. I can't even drink grapefruit juice. It's really bitter to me. I like to compare it to coffee without cream or sugar.

Oh, it's spicy? Yeah, I really am not good with spicy things. It does sound interesting, but maybe I'll pass on it.

I did try black coffee with no sugar when we didn't have any, and I almost spit it out. It was just too bitter. I can drink coffee black, but it has to at least have sugar in it. I can even drink it with only creamer, as long as it is flavored creamer. I remember that I got so desperate for caffeine that I tried to drink it with syrup... I do not recommend it. Haha~

Is it silly that I think that you are brave for going outside at all? But, I know what you mean about chores, especially dishes. When you live with over five relatives, they pile up quickly, and over a short amount of time.

In America we call being good at gardening having a green thumb. To me, what you are doing is incredible! Especially since it is to help the environment and insects. It's too bad that other insects eat your hard work though.

Wow. If your relatives see you as useless for not having a job, then my relatives must see me as dirt. At least you sometimes go outside, and have a garden. I'm in an apartment struggling to make a game with the simplest game engine. Excuse me while I go cry now.

At least Joe Biden seems nice. Maybe he wouldn't be so hard on unemployed people.

You seem to have kind relatives. An example of my own would be that another cousin helps the one who owns the place I live in with rent. When my helpful cousin got into an argument with the one who owns the apartment she said: "If you have to say what you've done, then you aren't really helping." Suggesting that you have to do more than pay the rent to please her. It's really annoying because she has been...very verbal about how she sees me. Apparently, since I don't have a job the least I can do is help her clean, and watch the dog. Oh, and feed the cat. By the way, I'm sorry for trauma dumping again. I have a cold, so I think it's making me more verbal than usual.

That's okay. At least I know that there is someone in the world who cares about me. And I have my fictional boyfriends too.

Ever since I watched the Disney movie 'Annie', and heard the antagonist tell Annie - "Kid if you think it's bad here, it's lousy out there. I'm doing you a favor by not letting you leave." It's really made me question if I should stay or go. It's not like anyone is forcing me to stay here, but, I'm still here anyway, out of fear.

You are really kind. And you are right, they shouldn't guilt-trip me. However, if I argue back, they will make my life more of a nightmare. I have already had the phone that was given to me taken away for two days. Even though I gave up a laptop so that my cousin could have one month of internet. And it would have been payed using my mom's money. All of the games that I still can't play, programs to make games that I can't use...the possibility of having them are all gone because I gave up my laptop for what she wanted. And, it was only one month, so after that, I could have still had the laptop once the internet came on again.

I have already played two games from that jam, and I loved both of them. I am definitely going to play more, but, I think that I should focus on trying to make a game first, since I gave up because of indentation. But, when I'm done with that, I will be playing more of them.

That sounds like every android phone that I have ever had. And since a phone is all that I have, that isn't good. Now, I am borrowing my cousins' phone, but I've had two phones before that, that were given to me by my mom, and they both had a short lifespan. I don't know what these companies are thinking, but they need to make better products or refund people's money back.

Not really experimenting. I have had so much trouble with indentation, that I have just been copying the script, and adding it back, bit by bit to see where I messed up. If I mess up the indentation, the game won't even load. Imagine writing ten paragraphs, and then trying to test it, but the game won't load. Then having to add the script back in one sentence at a time to see where you went wrong. At this point, I really want Tyrano Builder. T-T

Then, if I make a game, and link it to you, you can still play it. Unless I get nervous, and self-conscious, and change my mind about sending it. But ,that probably won't happen. Maybe.

Hmm...wait, there might be free assets on Itch.io come to think of it. I could literally just check here.

I have been writing less, ever since I gave up writing a story online due to writer's block. I wrote so many chapters, but I had to drop it, because I had no idea how to continue it. I think I wrote myself into a corner, and would have to rewrite so much if I want to continue it. So, making games could be a fun replacement, once I figure out the indentation part. 

It's alright. I think I understand. I've spent so much time rewriting the script for this game, and every time I finish, (because it is only playable on the browser), I had to upload it to Itch, and try to run it. Because I wanted two love interests, the script was going to be longer than if I only had one. Now I want to delete everything...or at least take away one love interest. So, I've been practically obsessed with getting the indentation right.

I do recognize the feeling of wanting to run away from your responsibilities. I hope that you don't feel too much pressure as a result of the things that you have to do.

Well, you gave me the great idea to make a love interest that I find perfect, so that makes me kind of happy. :D I honestly do hope that you can enjoy yourself, before you go back to your responsibilities. I wish that you get a few chocolates for yourself, and eat them while you drink your coffee. Stay safe, always, my friend.