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You have no idea how happy it made me to read your comment, especially the concrit parts, because that's the good stuff, the shit I need to improve.

Now, though I will say that some of the stuff you mentioned was by design, such as the very casual feeling of it all and Ferida's apparent aloofness (I kinda wanted to go with a flavor of trauma that sneaks up on you a while after it happens, and it just happens to fit Ferida's personality and how jaded she is) a lot of the  other stuff you said definitely wasn't my intention. I always want to know how others see my work, how they perceived it because from all of it I'm starting to see some similarities that point toward persistent weaknesses in my writing that I need to work on.

It's not the first time I've been told I focus too much on a concept, on worldbuilding and sometimes let the feel/vibes of some scenes weaken as a result. Same with character interactions, those two are a big weakness of mine. I would be extremely interested in reading how you would've personally handled those problems, because giving up plot tightness in exchange for scope and concept is something I've fallen prey of more times than I could count.

Other than that, I'm very happy that the rest of the game resonated with you, even if it's mostly in the themes it presents and the ideas and stuff. I'll admit the VN was first born from that, so it makes sense it's the strongest part. 

Again, thank you so much for giving me your honest thoughts, I always feel like writing a story like this is a balancing act I'm never doing 100% right, so it's very important to know where I fall short.

Thank you very kindly! So many people have commented, it makes me incredibly happy to see people receiving my game well :D

I can't wait to read the rest of the story! The first and second chapters hooked me very strongly; the concept of two people who knew each other while young meeting again as trans girls is one that hasn't been explored enough and it's one of my faves. The angst here was deliciously written, and the expressions and poses on the sprites were super inventive and dynamic, I'm a huge fan.

Also the music is so atmospheric! Super big fan. 

Thank you for making this!

Ohhhh talk about a cliffhanger! I was getting so into it; I love how the game builds the intrigue and suspicion throughout and then just throws you that insane curveball at the end. I wanna know more! I'll definitely follow y'all and wait for the full release.

I absolutely love the backgrounds and the character designs, and the writing is so funny!

Oughhhhh this game is fantastic!!! It feels so complete too, even if there's CGs and other features to come in the future, I didn't feel like it was lacking in any way. The opening 'cutscene', the little cut-ins with the names of each chapter as well as the hand picking up the bullets, it all oozes so much style and it absolutely fucks.

The story itself is also so well done, one that could fill an entire book neatly told within just 30k words, it's just as long as it needs to be, it doesn't feel like it drags on at any point nor that it's missing something. It's just so well crafted from beginning to end, I'm really impressed.

Midnight is great. I'm particular to narratives about lone wolves like her taking in a 'client' and going on a mission with them to resolve both of their baggages. It's a tried archetype, but a good one. And you wrote it so well! Midnight and Marie's relationship easily carried the first half of the game, and then Midnight's bout at the end and her whole backstory and the whole ending were so bittersweet, I loved it.

Also your art and your expressions especially are great. The character's emotions could be felt, I specifically remember Midnight's goofy grin and Marie's annoyed face as two of my favorites.

You did an amazing job with this one, and I'd love to play it again once the complete version is released!

This was so good! I think even just as a demo the story works really well. The art and the spritework are both super pretty and the main girls have a great dynamic. I liked Erin a lot; her bluntness and straightforward nature feels very refreshing in a yuri game, and I was rooting for them. I also liked the worldbuilding and the whole world of the spirits.

I'd love to play the full version when it comes out!

Hi! Just wanted to let you know that it looks like the downloaded file is just your build of the game you were working on. I'd recommend using the 'build distributions' option in ren'py to make a version for windows that's executable.

Thankfully I was able to play with my own version of Ren'py. I really liked the character writing and the emotions you portrayed, this is really good for being your first game! I'd love to see the updated version once you're done with it. The unfortunate reality of Lilia's parents and her difficulties with school and coming out are very realistically expressed, and it was as painful as it was cathartic to read.

Really well done!

I quite liked the gameplay loop of the puzzles, I thought you did a good job of making each one different enough, and the dialogue between Amara and her clients was an enjoyable break in between. This is a very cute game! I wouldn't mind playing more, honestly.

This game was adorable from start to finish; I love how despite the short length of the game you managed to give each of the characters beside Flan and Tiramisu their own little moments to flesh them out. And then the main relationship! It's adorable and saccharine and I wish there was more of it!

Great job :D

This seems like a cute concept! And I like the GUI and the current characters a lot. If you wanted to make this a full game I'd love to play it!

Holy shit. I knew I was gonna like this one when I saw the concept and the sprites on the discord server, but this demo blew me away. There's so much I love about this! 

The visual presentation, the interactable buttons on the UI and the visual effects as you go through the menus and the sound bits for everything, from the dialogue to the buttons being pressed and the dial tone, it all adds to the atmosphere and makes it feel so real and engaging.

And the writing is so good! Each little story had something different to offer, they were all creepy in very different ways and elicited their own reaction, to the point I can't really pick a favorite. Though it might be the one in the hotel.

Reb and Zinnia are also great to bounce off of each other, their personalities and mannerisms and how Zinnia is clearly aware of the situation adds a delicious tension to the whole thing that is so good! Just... everything, the craft of this, everything that was put into it has so much thought and love, I'm really, really impressed.

I'm definitely following y'all for the continuation of this game, and whatever else you plan to do in the future.

You didn't lie, those sure are some cute poly lesbians! The awkwardness and nervousness of moving in with your new poly SOs was portrayed very well here, it's something I'm sure resonates a lot with other poly people and it carried the story really well. I also liked the use of haikus in the game as a kind of narrative device.

Super adorable game, great  job!

I feel bad for the MC but in a very sitcom-like way, I absolutely love to see the craziness of the girls she's stuck with. This was a really funny game. I love every one of the girls, and their interactions throughout the game and honesty about how much they loved stalking the MC was so good.

They also had pretty distinct personalities for such a short game. This was very cute and enjoyable, I loved it!

This was a really intriguing demo. The gameplay portion was fun and challenging enough that I'd gladly play more, and what little we could see of the story, with the scenes glitching in and out of each other (and whatever the hell that last part was) made me really want to learn more about the setting and the characters.

I'll look forward to future releases!

It really means a lot to hear you liked this, being such an amazing writer yourself! This game came about half because I had a concept and a character design in mind, and half because I've always been terrible at constructing a short, satisfying narrative (often going more for longer and expansive casts like in DDD) so this was a way for me to challenge myself and try to make something compact, with fewer sprites and assets. I'm very glad it worked for the most part!

And thank you for pointing out those errors, I always fail at catching all of them. And yes, I wanted to write it from the POV of Ferida because I thought it was necessary for the exposition to work well, and also because I find it funny when people are forcibly brought into other people's couple problems.

Thank you so much for playing and commenting!!

What a charming game from start to finish, and not just in the writing and the spritework, which are both great, but in the presentation and the sound design/music as well. The title screen for the game is so nice-looking, and every GUI design stands out and makes the game feel even better to read/play.

I can tell that you put a good amount of research into this, and it shows. The character dynamics feel genuine, and it's nice that pretty much everyone gets some time to shine, not just the love interests. Despite the game being short, it's a good showing all around.

Loved this one. Congrats!

God, this game is so beautiful to look at, the presentation, the way you programmed the scenes and everything else is so professional, I love it. The writing is very appropriately morose and dour, in the way only severe depression can be. The gameplay of repeating every day until you're forced to go out only reinforces that.

Also that scene with Panda arguing with her mom was painful in a very realistic way.

I did have a few bugs while playing though, with the dialogue freezing up and not letting me continue until I exited and loaded the game. But it might've been an oldder version of the game, I don't know.

In any case, I really enjoyed this!

Ohhh at some points while I played I thought I knew where the game was going, that this would be a more yandere-like type of game, but I'm very pleasantly surprised! The idea of having your life uprooted because it's suddenly been made part of a game and having your decisions be dictated by the 'player' while your friend is aware of what's going on and very scared... it's good stuff. I really like the concept.

And I think it was really nicely executed. Especially near the end there,  The resolution was very sweet, but it felt earned despite the game's short length. I enjoyed the writing and the art a lot.

First off, kudos to the artist because every single sprite in this is gorgeous, and the expressions are so well made too. Also the character designs! There's such a strong contrast between Kvist's family and the humans, and I also love Birk's tree-colored dress, it's super cute.

The story was strong and very well-told for how short the game is, though I got one ending I felt like going back to get the rest because I wanted to know what happened. The writing is strong, and I feel like the whole game comes together really well.

Great job!

I really love the visual design and the little animations you managed here, it all feels very satisfying to look at, even at the stage the game is right now. I like the story so far too, though I'm sure there'll be a lot more to think on once further updates come.

I'll look forward to playing the full version of this one!

What a delightfully screwed up couple! I can't say I share Mary's proclivities but if I were in her shoes I'd also do everything in my power to fluster a demon as cute as Asmodea. Who wouldn't?

Really cute game, I loved it!

Absolutely immaculate vibes. The sound and visual design of this are so satisfying, the sound of the typing, the fact you have to go at it slowly like with a typewriter, and of course the whole deal with the commands and the fucked up shit you can only imagine.

The content was, of course, just as advertised, and while it was uncomfortable and shocking, it's the presentation of the whole thing that impresses me the most.

Great work!

Thank you so much!!! I'm glad that's the part that stuck out, because it's where I put most of my effort into hehe.

There's a lot about this I fuck with a lot, it gives me vibes of zine and online comics I used to read from my own country when I was younger and in college, and this is not just as good but also very funny. 

Loving it so far, I'll happily read more if you update it!

I've been playing this game in short bursts whenever I had the time, during work breaks or after dinner, for the past few days and every time I sat down to do it I was so excited. I already knew I'd enjoy this considering your entry for the previous yuri game jam was one of my favorites. And treading similar ground of self-sacrifice and unfathomable acts of love, which is a theme that definitely doesn't get explored enough, at least not like this.

First off, I thought the length served the story well. You're really good at telling tales like these in short bursts, in little scenes, and it's a way of writing I'm very particular to, it's one of my favorites. And you use it so well. There are so many scenes in this, so many of them full of fear and melancholy, some full of grief, and a couple full of a gut-churning horror that was the hardest part to get through, but worth it. But anyway, the amount of time I spent with these characters made the ending hurt so bad, which I'm sure was intentional so great work.

Especially the sex scenes, which were fantastic and probably more vital than any other kind in the game.

I also adore the way you portray self-sacrifice in this and your other works. I feel like in these types of games there's usually a lack of... idk, angry, spiteful positivism? There's usually well-earned pain and apathy and anger, but I like it when you have characters who do something about it. As someone from a place full of stories like this one,  stories where people gave up not only themselves but everything they loved to deal a near-killing blow on fascism and on the state, this feels so refreshing.

Because that's often how it is in reality. Self-sacrifice often isn't this off-the-cuff heroic moment of bravery, it's sitting down and eating and fucking and doing everything with the people you love, while all of you know full well that the good you're attempting to do might (or will) kill you. And needing to find peace in that, because the goal is more important, and all you can do is believe that your love will endure after you're gone.

There were many stand-out scenes in this. Anhedonia visiting the lake where they had that date, One's death in her arms, the little bursts of black as time flew while Anhedonia was deep in her grief... It's all so good. This is so well-made, I really admire it.

And of course, I can't not praise blood's art and the whole messy, jpeg artifact-y art direction of this, which is really inspired.

You wrote something so good, something that shows your growth as a writer IMO, and I'm so glad I got to read it. I can't wait to read your other submission for this jam tomorrow.

yayayayayyyy this makes me incredibly happy to read. There were times where I really wasn't sure where I personally was going with the story, so I'm so glad it ended up resonating with people and achieving its purpose in a way.

thank you so so much!!!! This means a lot

The style of narration here feels so dry and rotten in a good way, truly like the mind of someone like Bishop. Kind of like tumbling rocks. I enjoyed your descriptions a lot, you really know how to paint a horrible picture and make me feel like shit reading it.

Again, in a good way. This was raw and heart-wrenching and I loved it. The descriptions of the state of the angel girl made me wince every time.

Great work!

yayyyy thanks so much for playing!! It means a lot that you liked the game considering how good yours is!!

Maaaan this was so good! I can see maybe some influence for this story from some gaelic folk tales I've heard before, but to have such an amazing trans and yuri twist on it and have it come across so naturally is great. The writing was strong, it really felt like I was reading a modern myth.

I loved the use of paintings for the backgrounds and similar cutouts for enemies and other characters, especially the mist fae. It looked really cool and fit the story well, I think.

Also the yuri was exceptional :D I really, really like this one!

This game was really funny and charming. I loved Mariko trying to BS her way out of being suspected while waiting in a situation she didn't even wanna be in the first place. Been there, girl.

Really cute VN!

This is what happens whenever there's a thought experiment: two girls are created and they are yuri.

This was sweet! I quite liked the presentation and the background images as they pondered what their fate was.

I remember playing your game for the previous Yuri jam and liking it a lot, and I think this one is even better! I can see how your writing's improved, not just the prose but your use of English as well. And I think using a diary as the method through which the story is told fits the themes very well. It's all death, but there's sweetness too, and the thought that it meant something.

Nicely done!

I played the entire demo like a deer in headlights. I don't know what to say other than you're a very good writer and this was very impactful and painful in a good way.

I had a huge smile on my face throughout the whole game, I loved this so much!!! I love your writing and the art and how nice it all was. Some parts felt very realistic with the two asshole cosplayers wanting a discount on Seren's art, which I liked. But then everything else was a delight, from Aoife's forwardness to how much of a useless lesbian (affectionate) Seren was throughout.

I loved this!!!

Though it was a short game, you really managed to pack a pretty good character exploration with Kiyomi exploring her feelings for Cecilia, I had a good time reading it. The emotions felt very realistic, even if viewed through the eyes of someone who's not human, which is even more impressive.

Also I can't fault Cecilia for wanting to play with her ears and tail lol. Great work!

There we goooo, I'm glad I got to play this game tonight! I feel like I was in the right wavelength for it. Though it's a short game, it felt like time flew by while I read. It might be the ambient sounds and the satisfying sound with every line of dialogue. 

I loved every second of this. The designs and the art are really cute; I love what you did with the presentation, the video boxes and the transitions between scenes, but it's the story that I really liked. It feels so... realistic, despite happening in a moon far from Earth. Just a bunch of bored queer people wanting to do something fun and something nice and unlocking new feelings (and extra-terrestrial life) while doing it.

You did a great job!! I hope you keep making games.

Ahhhh que hermoso ver una VN con Español en estos jams!!! Aunque no soy de España sino de Argentina jaja, pero de todas las VN que he jugado hasta ahora de este jam, Lanú es la que más quiero que siga!

En serio, todas las partes de este juego están tan pulidas y bien hechas. Amo el arte de los sprites, especialmente de Merina, la música es perfecta para cada escena y la presentación del texto me encanta como la hiciste!

Espero que sigas con esto, y realmente no puedo esperar a que salga la versión Full del juego. También me encantó la escena extra al final del capítulo a la onda Higurashi jeje.

Hermosa VN!!!

I like when I can jump into a queer narrative with characters and a setting that are very unlike what I'm used to in real life and have the writer manage to get those things across without trouble, to the point I almost felt like I was in New Jersey buying bad coffee and being in the midst of a very anxiety-inducing situationship with my bandmates, lol.

Very strong character writing, and the designs and art style are very cute and messy, very fitting for this story and these characters.

Loved it!

What a charming and relaxing way to finish a session of playing yuri games :D Your designs for Mere and Misaki (and pretty much everyone else in the game) are so beautiful, and you use the DnD-like setting very well to give us some lesbians smooching each other while on the clock. Which is something I'll never turn my nose at. Loved this!

Aaaaa I loved this and I wanted so much more! Your art is so cute, your writing is funny and I wanted to watch these two interact for hours, they're so adorable. I'll follow you for whatever you make in the future!