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Thanks so much for playing!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! We were hoping it would be for fellow bodega-goers or code-switchers. 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to check out our game and leave a comment!

I'm glad you enjoyed our little bodega piece. 😊

Right off the bat, I'm definitely feeling the weight of these passages. They're overly long on my page and I actually have to maneuver a bit to be able to read everything on new passages. It'd be a good idea to break them up so that the player could pick up on what's important, and it might make it easier for you to add details to the environment or describe smaller things or give choices more weight. Right now, it sometimes feel like I'm jumping forward in time a lot every time I make a choice because of how long some of the passages are!

Okay, I think I've reached a dead end, I met up with the woman in the cave with grandma and sister and I didn't get a choice there. Not sure if that was the end of a path or just incomplete, so I'll just take it as a "run."

I also didn't see that this was a Hercules adaptation, and if I'm being honest I don't remember much of that story, BUT! This was a really interesting take on the myth. It feels like there's so much more to the world to explore and I think it'd be helpful to describe some more of it (but in smaller passages haha). 

Any hope this could be turned into an anime, lowkey, it sounds like one...

This was really cool! Your unique approach of having the player really pick the next moments was pretty successful, and each choice gave enough context for the player to predict accurately what that choice entails (which is a very very good thing!). This made each choice feel like it actually mattered and had weight and like I am actually the one writing and controlling the story rather than picking a choice in a narrative that already exists. 

On an unrelated note, Inkle was my first narrative design platform and it is very nice. It's also nice to be able to scroll back up in your case to see the story we've created. Would love to see how the completed versions might look!

Izanagi & Izanami Playlist, when???

Real talk, this was so heckin' cool what you did here, great job, friend, like the ending I got almost made me tear up. (Idk how many there are though, oop-)

One bug I saw was one of the lines where Izanagi agrees to help the Spear, the Spear's lines shows up as Izanagi's, the one where it says "let's go find your boyfriend" or something. The description of Izanami also shows up twice. Now, on to the actual feedback.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT WAS SO EPIC, JUNE. LITERALLY HOW. There are no images in the game related to plot but somehow I can see everything happening perfectly, which is one of the strongest points about your game. Everything flows extremely smoothly from one passage to the next and I didn't really break immersion once, most likely due to the fantastic mood music you put on. 

Some of the choices confused me though, like the ones that had the second bar grayed out or something because I couldn't think of any place where I could've possibly "unlocked" the choice. It also felt a little weird because I couldn't tell if it was the Spear addressing the player or the developer/game addressing the player to do or inform them of something.

Other than that, that was FANTASTIC. Thank you for fun times and cool music.

Oof, there's quite a few broken links, but it's still understandable reading through it. I think I've hit a dead end, but I'm not sure if that was due to errors.

Regardless, that was really interesting, and the choices feel pretty good. They feel weighty and like they could change the course of the story. The only place where it was weaker was during the conversation with Karenin's boss. I got confused halfway through about what the significance of the choices could mean, and that was where the choices was less impactful, despite there only being two choices. However, I'm not sure I'd want to see more. It feels like such a stark and bleak world that permeates through the story that the distinct lack of other choices makes sense. (I say that in a good way!) I don't know the source material that well though...

Really consistent writing throughout as well although sometimes I wish there was just a tiny bit more description of the environment. The lack adds to the bleakness nicely though. The dialogue is pretty strong and I think it really describes the type of people these characters are without any exposition. Great job on that, and overall! 

That was really cool. It was a little difficult to imagine what the rest of the world is like, especially when so many characters were introduced in succession, but the choices made sense and actually felt like they would have a permanent effect in the game. The little notes specifying that were helpful. I do have to say I don't know the source material that well but it was exciting participating in an assassination this way. Some of the language was a little difficult to understand at times, but it wasn't completely illegible. The inclusion of the player having read the book in the game was also really cool because it accommodated for people who don't know the material like me.

Ooooo I'm here for this ship...

Haha, in all seriousness, that was a cool way to introduce the characters around. I was a little bit uncertain about picking at times because I wasn't sure that I'd get another chance to come back to the other options, and it seems like that might've been true for some of them. Other than that, I'm definitely more curious about Gatsy along with Nick as well since it starts in such a mysterious spot. Hoping to see more in the future!

MAX THIS IS SO IMPRESSIVE. It's been a while since I read Frankestein but from what I can recall, this follow it pretty decently! Really nice touch of the background, yess.

The player were often offered multiple choices for specific scenes but I sometimes found myself going back and forth wondering if the choices actually mattered. For some of them, it was noticeable that it would barely change the next bit of text and it seemed like there were a fair amount of those. I think it's a good amount of choices and options overall though. There weren't really any sections of text walls, they varied back and forth, and I think that helped in not making too many walls. However, if it becomes unavoidable, I do suggest making sure the paragraphs are indented properly when playing and that the text wall nodes actually have a significant turn in the story. It can be used as a good signal to the player.

The protagonist seems pretty assertive at times despite being nervous. Curious and determined. The choices we've been given so far also seem to reflect that pretty well; they're all facets of the same personality.

I'm not sure. It's apparent that Adelaide, or Alice, has lost her memory of perhaps the last time she was here. Some of the others remember her and have memories of her, so I feel like perhaps she'll find those clues and piece together who she is.

The mood is strangely dark, even more so than the originals. I haven't read or seen any Alice in Wonderland movies, but here, it seems like there's a horror-themed twist to every aspect of the world.

Great start, Wesley! The last time I read anything about Dorian Gray was a long while ago, but they seem somewhat familiar to me, especially Lord Henry's choice of white shirt and grey vest haha. 

1. I'm not actually sure if Dorian was actually inclined towards being an arse, but I'll assume that that might've just been added as a game element. I think personality-wise, Dorian is so far almost entirely up to the player. Dorian doesn't say anything you don't tell him to say and because the dialogue is what's driving the two ways you can play Dorian, it seems like I don't have to come into this expecting anything. That said, I definitely like the feeling that Dorian keeps getting drawn back to the painting and its beauty and the little tidbits about Basil's perception. That's very in-character, from what I remember.

2. I can think of making some of the choices a little more neutral. The dressing up part seemed like it was such a big deal at the time but Dorian ends up skipping over it and it's only mentioned by one of the Ladies what he ends up choosing to wear. Would be fun to be able to see him dress himself.

3. Pacing was a little confusing for me, because the progressions between the different Ladies felt abrupt and unsure of where to end up while the conversation with Lord Henry about Dorian not attending the luncheon (if you picked it) felt much longer.

"But I won't cover your ass just so you can save face with my aunt." > Last thing, this line for some reason just took me out of the immersion. It feels too modern, and not that British for the time period, which is where I think this story is from? 

At first I thought the crowd were all minions omg.

But I love it, veeeery immersive, hell yeah. Swiping the card feels surprisingly similar to real life, and it's almost cute the way it reorients itself yeee.

P.S. I love the easter egg. 

NICE. This game is enjoyably hard, and definitely makes the player want to beat the kids at least once no matter what (grrr). I like the colors and the decorations and the game is definitely easier to understand since the playtest. The reticle is a bit small though and it's hard to see the throw power. 

This is  game is adorable ahhhhh

I love the cat sounds, very immersive,  and both the music and font are very fitting. I also love how you had a different ending if you were a good cat. The paw is really really cute and gives the player really chaotic power haha. 

Only thing I can think of improving is the mouse sensitivity, which is a bit high, and I wish we could climb the shelves or had a subtle way to climb everything.