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A jam submission

Red Rebellion - DemoView game page

Robin Hood meets Red Riding Hood in a yuri wlw twist visual novel
Submitted by Aikasa Collective (@aikasacolle) — 6 days, 19 hours before the deadline
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Red Rebellion - Demo's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Controls / UI#224.0574.800
Art / Graphics#274.0574.800
Sound/Music#333.5504.200
Overall Fun#393.5504.200

Ranked from 5 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

I am going through all submissions to make all developers aware of an important Google form I've made.

I'm joining the IQ folks to help organize smaller events in between the main FQ event in order to help prevent us from getting too many games in main events. Right now, I have a planned structure for these events but I would like to hear from everyone who was in this event in order to tune things better. The survey is a bit long, but it covers as much as I could think of. If you can take the time to do the survey by June 1st, I would immensely appreciate it!

You can find the form here: https://forms.gle/P9LPYwERhJtpZzteA

(+1)

Amazing. Typically it's easy for me to find flaws but I had a hard time finding anything that needed work. If I were to give one suggestion, I sometimes got lost when the characters changed. Maybe change the color of the character's names? I'm really grasping at straws because it's near perfect.

I support y'all and looking forward to the finished product! Keep up the excellent work!

Developer

Thank you for streaming it!! Sorry for the late response, I'm still playing catch up after the end of the KS campaign. I did manage to catch the latter half of your playthrough! I don't think I saw a VOD to rewatch the beginning...? Thanks for the feedback (: Do you mean when each character is talking you get lost who is talking in that moment?

Oh wow.... I'm unsure why but YouTube is hiding the videos. 

There is no explanation. Just that it's unavailable. But I streamed the entire demo. It was uploaded as two different vids to my YouTube channel. And yes, each character's name having a different color, might help the eye to pick up a visual cue as to the character dialogue changing.


Submitted(+1)

Great game demo with a great story and a great sound effects and an awesome artwork!! Very good job for all the people behind the project :D

Also I like than the game have a glossary for some words than the people can’t know what are and also the explanations are very great, so good job doing that too!!

Developer(+1)

Thanks for playing!! Sorry for the slow response, it was a crazy Kickstarter finish so I'm trying to catch up on responses. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep too ^^; Thanks for letting me know what parts you liked (: I hope you like the final finished game!  Did your game get good feedback?

Submitted(+1)

You’re welcome Don’t worry, it’s understandable I hope it too!! I will stay tuned for see the final game version when it comes out!! Yes, my game received good feedback for improve it and polish some mechanics and the game comes from a big update with a lot of changes So I’m happy with all the feedback than I received and also for the great games than I played during this Feedback Quest I will stay also tuned for the next for play more games and help more people with feedback :D

Developer(+1)

Very nice!! Sounds like it was a really fruitful event :D

Submitted(+1)

And yes, it’s true!!

This is neat! A very promising demo. There're rough edges as I'd expect in anything in alpha, but I already really like the smart, skilled use of layering, colour motifs, silhouettes, insets, and (in some scenes) sound. Narratively, there were transitions and conversations here which felt somewhat oblique, and a few points in the prose felt like they needed contractions or a helping comma to feel natural, but I'm guessing that these foibles too can be chalked up to the project's relatively early state. The thorough research into early archery is very pleasing, and I was delighted to see an anchoress. Or rather—more correctly—to hear and not see an anchoress.

I love the choice of a fifteenth-century setting that already regards Robin Hood tales as part of its own cultural fabric. Quite rightly, you borrow from and play with history and legend rather than feeling beholden to them, which I applaud. The setting in the 1450s prompted me to jot down some stray thoughts as I read, which I offer in case they're helpful; please feel free to ignore them!

The lexis sometimes seems slightly chronologically unstable. I couldn't quite tell, as a reader, whether I was invited to enjoy this as a deliberately archaising work or as a work in a historical setting with natural present-day language. Both approaches are good, but now and then it felt like we were oscillating between them. For instance, if we're going to go back to the Middle English etymons of present-day brag/bragging and yeah, why not do that for other words? Thee is an intimate second-person pronoun in later Middle English (later ME had T–V distinction); at least one character uses it to Robin, but (if my short-term memory serves) Robin and Red don't use it for each other as one might perhaps expect of co-conspirators—or if Robin is in some sense in Red's service, Red could address Robin as thee and Robin could address Red as you (or ye). Gramerci was certainly a widely understood way to express gratitude, but it was also a slightly elevated and formal way given its French origins: does that fit with all its uses here? Red and the grandmother quoting Sun Tzu amused me, but using disposition in the fifteenth century makes Red sound like an ecclesiastic with a university degree. Working in the other direction, spooked stuck out to me because it only enters English in the late eighteenth or early nineteenth century, and local only expands beyond use in medical contexts some time after the fifteenth century. &c &c.

No doubt some of these things are small, pedantic details, ones only a small-minded pedant would think of! I wonder whether even for the general reader, though, either more studied, systematic archaism, or more natural modern language might prove smoother; either option would carry less risk of falling between two stools. While I'm talking small pedantic details, I suspect someone in the 1450s would possibly have called the civic authorities in Nottingham not a local council but (confusingly for us) the 'corporation': Nottingham had become a county corporate in the 1440s. (Nottingham, not Nottinghamshire, despite 'county corporate' involving the word 'county'.) You don't have to care about this, though, because as noted above you have a licence to borrow from history but no obligation to follow it…

Small details like these are one thing; the overall project another. As I said, this seems lovely, and I wish you every success with it! I will be watching with interest for updates.

Developer(+1)

I really appreciate this type of detailed feedback! And reminds me what a silly American I am with the language XD; It was more of the latter "historical setting with natural present-day language." This would be a rather lengthy response... could we have a chat somewhere?

(+1)

No need to feel silly about American English, it’s the most common first-language variety and one with many beauties of its own! Yes, I’d be very happy to talk—I see you followed me on Twitter, so I’ll DM you my Discord ID (how roundabout!) there.

(+2)

Hey there! Had the chance to play through it tonight and it was honestly very fun! The character designs were beautiful, the environment lovely, though I was a bit curious about the story/relationship between the characters. It threw a lot of characters in at once, but it made me eager to learn more about them! I'd say that my only qualm was the lack of backing tracks throughout many of the longer scenes. Even just background sound effects would help set the mood, particularly when the emphasis is on the dialogue and the emotions brought about by them. But overall a fun play and I wish you all the luck in development! 

Developer(+1)

Thank you for playing it!! I've been busy with the kickstarter and with poor sleep, had trouble finding time to watch your stream until now. But I was amazed and very pleased to hear a professional voice-acting streamer tried my demo! It was really fun to see the characters come to life :D Ah yes, the composer was still busy refining the character theme songs, so we didn't finish putting it or even simple ambient tracks into the alpha demo yet. We'll be sure to remedy this in the final game ^_^ Thank you for the thorough feedback! 

(+1)

Thank you so much! It was really fun to play through and learn about the characters and I can't wait to see where this project goes ^^ I would be honored to do another play through when the time comes!

Developer(+1)

Glad to hear it! Sure why don't I send a future reviewers key whenever the game comes out? (:

Sounds great! Thanks so much ^^

Submitted(+1)

First, I will establish I do not play these types of games often. That being said the cover art is really good so I had to give it a try. There isn't much I can criticize, everything seems to be sufficient. The only thing I felt was missing was choice. I played for maybe 10-15 minutes and there wasn't a time where I could interact or influence the story by choosing. It seemed like that was going to be a feature given the description, so I am confused. But if choice is indeed planned, think it may be worth considering giving the player some intractability earlier in the game even if it isn't a huge impact.

Developer

Thanks for trying out something outside of your usual (: I appreciate the feedback.