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A jam submission

Sacred FaunaView project page

An peaceful and boring day in HDF remote outpost takes a weird turn...
Submitted by I3onku — 1 day, 11 hours before the deadline
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Sacred Fauna's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to Theme#163.6303.630
Concepts & Originality#473.4813.481
Overall#523.1983.198
Flow & Clarity#612.4812.481

Ranked from 27 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

I like the premise but I think you could've trimmed the wordage down really hard; it was quite a text wall of a read for a short story

Submitted

I really enjoyed the concept. Somehow simultaneously funny & spooky (I imagined Rorgu to be like some kind of kangaroo or fox thing, for some reason. I think the moodboard influenced me). A very clear, devastating example of consequences.

More paragraph breaks, especially between lines of dialogue, would help with flow. But it didn't get too much in the way of understanding your fun idea.

Submitted

I really enjoyed the concept. Somehow simultaneously funny & spooky (I imagined Rorgu to be like some kind of kangaroo or fox thing, for some reason. I think the moodboard influenced me). A very clear, devastating example of consequences.

More paragraph breaks, especially between lines of dialogue, would help with flow. But it didn't get too much in the way of understanding your fun idea.

Submitted(+1)

I really enjoyed this story - you've got a very imaginative premise, and you integrated the theme into your story well without it feeling forced or overbearing. The flow & clarity were the only real weak spots for me, and I think this story could benefit a lot from additional paragraph breaks.

Developer

Thanks a lot! It was a first time for my to write up something like that and It's tough to make it into a 1000 word limit, I have to delete a couple of bits to make It. :p

Very happy you like it!

Submitted

Now that's a great story

Developer

Thanks a lot!