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OPR Writing Jam #10

Hosted by onepagerules · #oprwj10
62
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1,648
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A jam submission

UpshotsView project page

A Military Police Officer interviews a Human Defense Force suspect.
Submitted by BennyBartez — 58 minutes, 59 seconds before the deadline
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Play book

Upshots's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Flow & Clarity#413.2563.320
Adherence to Theme#473.0593.120
Concepts & Originality#483.3733.440
Overall#493.2293.293

Ranked from 25 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

EldenrowSubmitted268 days ago(+1)

This was a good read

Submitted
In War, Everywhere is the Front Line
Reply
BennyBartezDeveloper261 days ago

Many thanks for your positive comment :)

Reply
Muffinprincess13Submitted268 days ago

Interesting start for a character! Some minor spelling errors (waist vs waste), but a compelling beginning for sure!

Submitted
Brothers OPR Writing Jam #10
Reply
Hobby FuzionSubmitted270 days ago(+1)

nicely written, tight set piece. I thought you were going for daemon possession at the end when the Inquisitor came in rather than recruitment, but sounds like this would make a great opening chapter for  a Grimdark Detective story.

Submitted
In the Name of a God
Reply
BennyBartezDeveloper269 days ago

Thanks for taking the time to comment and leave the positive feedback :)

I love the idea of a daemon possession!

Reply
Old_One_EyeSubmitted270 days ago(+1)

Nice twist at the end! The interaction between Brookes and the Sergeant really sets the tone. The grimdark vibe comes through well, though the story feels a bit familiar in terms of setting and plot. Nice job on keeping the dialogue crisp!

Submitted
The Curse of Curiosity
Reply
BennyBartezDeveloper270 days ago

Thanks! I had an outline idea then did some research as TBH I don't know enough of the in-depth lore etc. for OPR / 40k Inquisition, which I would have liked to include. Even though i wanted to add more, I ran out of time unfortunately. So I kept the setting to the one location and sprinkled in some lore :)

Thanks for taking the time to comment and give constructive feedback.

Reply
HewJaxTheLivingFranchiseSubmitted271 days ago(+1)

Nice twist on the theme for the ending. 

Submitted
Snap Back (featuring RatchetM's Captain Magma)
Reply
BennyBartezDeveloper270 days ago

Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to comment :)

Reply
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