Hey Silver Wargaming! 

You've got a thrilling concept here with some intense action scenes that really capture the grimdark atmosphere. The idea of a hive mind and a space bug hunt is always a fun ride, and you nailed the chaotic energy of a boarding assault. To take this story to the next level, try to focus a bit more on the flow between scenes to make it easier for readers to follow the action. 

Also, a little more emphasis on the theme throughout the story could help drive home that feeling of things going off the rails. Keep up the great work—you're on the right track!