Skip to main content

Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
A jam submission

The Conquests of Bruntok ShipsmashaView project page

A tale of the most feared Ork Captain to ever plague the Sirius System. Written for OPR Writing jam #12
Submitted by Danii_Boy — 1 hour, 50 minutes before the deadline
Rated by 18 people so far
Add to collection

Play book

The Conquests of Bruntok Shipsmasha's itch.io page

Rate this book

Sign up with an itch.io account to rate and leave comments.

Leave a comment

Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.

Comments

Submitted

I enjoyed it. It reminds me of a historical blurb about influential people. The died as he lived part gave me a chuckle.

Submitted

This type of storytelling lends itself well to this kind of writing challenge. 

I do enjoy the "zoomed out" telling of this story- its much easier to fit more "happenings" in a story like this than one that tries to break into back and forth dialog. That being said, it still suffers a little bit (although less than I would have expected) from telling not showing- especially at the end. Maybe you could have woven in more threads of 'unspoken drama?' Still, as short as it was, it was a VERY easy read and that goes a long way. I advise not using paragraph indents in this format but well done =)

Submitted

Orcs lend themselves to the theme really well so that was a great choice! I do find the story to be a bit matter of fact at first but it climaxes in a very satisfying way. 

Submitted (1 edit)

I love the idea behind this one; however, I personally would’ve enjoyed it much more if the 1000 word limit was used to expand on any one of theses conquests, with allusion and dialogue to explain his battle-readiness and past escapades. 

Submitted

Love the framing of this as just the legacy/stories people tell about this Orc. A fun melding of 40k style ork lingo with the OPR lore as well. If there's one critique I have, it's that I wish there was a bit more description of the stakes of Bruntok's final battle. I want to know more!

Submitted

I could see this almost as an excerpt in the orc’s world book. I think you wrote the orcs well even as OPR has completely changed what they are. you meshed them well.