A solid, memorable piece of writing. A bit muddy at times, but has some great beats to hold it together.

I do have a soft-spot for the inspiration for the Eternal Dynasty, and I didn't want that to cloud my judgement here. I liked what this was building up to, but I feel like the ending could have dug deeper into the theme.

You've set a wonderfully brooding, sombre tone with the language and imagery. It's a very stark piece, a good introspective monologue. I do think the ending could have been stronger. The captain doesn't come to a conclusion one way or another - either by retreating into his dogma or really starting to question it - and the story feels a little unfinished to me as a result. The contrast between dogma and reality is very strong in the story thanks to its powerful imagery, and I like what you're exploring here.

I really like the psychological journey this piece is.

amazing story! it was poetic, deep, featured the Eternal Dynasty and had an amazing title.

what more could you want?

This was actually the first one I read and I wanted to say that the whole package works together so very well. Not only did you paint an excellent picture but the actual structure gelled super well!