This does a very good job of being simple on its face while having quite a bit to unpack. The Admiral attempting to understand the Great Message is unknowingly distorting it and, alas, certain through his distortion that he is properly translating it. It seems he may do so again, fiddling with dials until he gets the messages that make the most sense through his lens of war.
Play Jam
Its Will's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Flow & Clarity | #13 | 3.810 | 3.810 |
Overall | #14 | 3.857 | 3.857 |
Concept & Originality | #16 | 4.048 | 4.048 |
Adherence to the Theme | #19 | 3.714 | 3.714 |
Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Comments
I liked how you played with the theme here, playing with the ideas of blind obedience versus understanding. The thought that the Progenitors themselves don't understand, or fully understand, their own message, is an interesting idea and there's definitely room for more there. The style of the work was lovely throughout with just enough detail given to keep the story moving and the reader engaged. A well-done story!
I love the questions it raised and how some hints were given as to who the players in this tale may have been. Hang on, the Great Message is telling me to- uh oh... Um sorry, but 'target all Writing Jam participants and OPEN FIRE!' 'Wait, is this right?'
Really interesting in how it left so much of the factions at play to the imagination while still telling a highly original story. Big thumbs-up from me!
Beautiful in its simplicity. Fairly unique among other contenders being a fleet based story.
first fleet battle of the readings, some very nice hooks here to expand on.
Really cool premise and language, some interesting foundations for something bigger
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