I did every single one of those things you mentioned, and didn't receive the rebel gift. Any time I could comfort Ria instead of receive a stat boost, I did. I received the Ria/Sayra gift. And I got Ria's confession.
Anything that boosted Ria or Sayra I did. I invited Ria to both events and I invited Sayra to the girls night. I didn't have the stats to succeed in the onvu tournament.
There's one rebel approval thing I missed the first go through which was responding to Lady Estelle about Imogen being innocent. I'll find out at the end of week 4 if it will let me choose to participate in the rebellion. I'm using a guide to boost my persuasion everywhere I can. I'm going to assume if I still can't continue the romance by picking that answer that I need to redo it...AGAIN.
Do I need Sayra's secret for a successful romance with Clarmont, so he survives to the end without peace?
and omg, i just remembered something and it will blow my mind if this is the ONLY reason I'm not getting the rebel gift because the guides don't say that this choice affects any approval. Because I thought it only affected my personality. But on day 1 when talking to Gisette, because i have no manipulation, I choose to say I support her in order to improve my relationship with her and nothing else. Might I have to either avoid talking to her or support the people?
EDIT: I still couldn't choose the "participate in rebellion"
According to one guide all I need to get it are the right answers and ethical. Do I need to be max ethical? I'm almost max but not quite.
I'm not even sure what choices I made that prevent full ethical...unless it's the option I mentioned above on day 1?