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Clicking Back from the Loading Screen closes the Game.

The Main Menu also fades in really slowly.

Its some kind of medieval/fantasy setting from what I gather from the Intro text, but the first non-map screen looks like they're just wearing colored T-Shirts.

Typewriter lettersound starts halfway through? And it shows the Person I'm talking to instead of me talking? I don't play Visual Novels, but shouldn't there be a Picture of the Protagonist when he speaks?

The Text weirldy shifts what its talking about. First I'm talking about getting Ink, then I'm talking to myself and suddenly its an explenation of the Moon festival? Sure, we were just talking about it, but why cut off like that so suddenly?

The Art during the Moonstone ceremony explanation is great tho. More or less. It got the same feeling as classic medieval Art, but in a more simplified look, misisng some details. And then theres a bunch of dumb colors + shading applied on top of it. I know most of the actual medieval Art seen today is faded and withered and was more colorful back then, but not Airbrushed like those. I'm sure you could easily recreate a look like those Manuscripts easily with your Skills. And an entire Visual Novel in a similar style would be something more unique and interesting. Or some other 2D Game with a Style like that. Doesn't have to be a Visual Novel.

The Sprites for Fiona blend into each other weirdly when she changes expression.

Whats with the one time only loud and short Noise for the Crowd?

Wizard doesn't look remotely like a Wizard. Boring. And why does he hold a piece of Paper like that? That looks really weird. 

Shouldn't the path to the ceremonial Pond and the Pond itself have some kind of decoration and people watching and stuff while you're going there? At least during the Festival.

Why does it say Thansk for playing and Ends after I'm being knocked down and had a little chat. I haven't done anything.

This isn't a Game, its more of a Picturebook. A Short one at that. With an uninteresting Story. I was just ready to get started on some kind of getting the Stone back adventure or something, but then it just ends.

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Loading screen issue should be in the main page only but I'm aware of it.

I could maybe make first image more medieval. 

Typewriter lettersound thing only happens when someone's talking to indicate both main character and other characters speaking, so no sound on internal dialogue. 

In some visual novels there is a small portrait on the left bottom for mc expressions and in others there is larger ones and I've seen ones where there isn't any for mc except for the special scenes, decided to go with that to make it seem more first person.

I'm not the greatest writer so it was my first attempt at writing a story, jumping from market to moonstone festival explanation could've been done better, but mainly trying to develop my writing so I can put something more coherent.

I'll try to make the moonstone ceremony explanation more like a medieval manuscript, some of the art is rushed, story and characters were more important at that stage, idk about entire vn in the style of that tho. I think there's a game like that sort of a jrpg with manuscript look, can't remember the name.

Idk how to fix the sprite blending thing, you can time it but I like it to be bit slow, but maybe faster is better.

Marcellus is supposed to look bit goofy, might give him a bigger hat and more classic look maybe,  in thefirst draft he was sort of a local shaman/healer than a wizard.

For the path my excuse was it didn't get crowded because ceremony is officially not happening, I should write something better for that part tho.

And it says thanks because the game is that short, it's my first attempt at vn and I wanted to try it like a 20 minute pilot episode which doesn't even take 20 minutes at the moment, but in the story you'll get to meet with king and queen and go back for the stone also to rescue princess from archwizard although he's not a bad guy. I basically need to develop my writing skills but thank you for the feedback!


Oh and some of the sound effects are from phoenix wright so that's why loud and low res.

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Its fine if its short, but I'd wish for some kind of actual player Input. Let me make a few Choices here and there. As it stands, its just like reading a digital book.

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That's the end goal, too shit at writing at the moment to make the branching stuff.