I see. i see! Great rundown! Most of these i figured out myself, as aforementioned, but they were unclear from the text and i would love if they were a bit clearer.
I've since my first post read through most of the book.
I've got some more suggestions and things to fix:
*pg.16
"Healing. Momentary rest and a drink of water restore Grit but leaves you exposed."
All of it? In that case i'd add "fully restore Grit". ( If this is added, add it to pg 37 too)
*pg. 30
I would like if Steel Resolve was on the character sheet for ease of access and helping in remembering its existence for the players. Maybe pre-filled on the Special Attacks? "Steel Resolve (Add Artifact Gun dmg die to Grit if succesful HRT save. 1/day. Cost: 1 Fat)
*pg. 31
Same thing as above with Quickdraw. "Quickdraw (Cost: 1 Fat)"
*pg. 31
"Special Attacks. Over time, Gunslingers attain expert proficiency with their guns, gaining the ability to perform special attacks unique to each gun type"
This could be interpreted in a way that the player doesn't start with a special attack for their character, which i've understood is incorrect.
*pg. 36
I'd add the Warden saying "Since you (the Gunslingers) are prepared for enemies to appear, you do not have to roll a Dex save to attack first" or something like it to the combat example, to help players remember how "initiative" works in combat scenarios. Helps a lot when you play a lot of different TTRPG systems.
*pg 39-41
Some of the underscores sneaking their way across spaces between words.
There's a lot of documentation and guide managing in my day-to-day job so i have a tendency of wanting things to be overly clear, especially for new eyes, even in my hobbies. The less room for misinterpretation, the better. I'm sorry if i seem picky, lol.
Game looks absolutely fantastic by the way, gonna keep reading now, and I'm sure I'll be back with more feedback.
I'm glad i could help and i hope this helps too.
pg. 35
*Scarred/Rattled/Broken/Bloodied "If it exceeds your max Grit, take the new result."
And do what with that result? Clarification needed.
pg. 35
*"Deprived until you rest." Add "You're" in the beginning of this sentence for consistency across the table.
pg. 35
*Inconsistency in table regarding "Roll d6" and what symbol comes after, to show results.
Example:
"Scarred: Roll d6, 1: Neck, 2: Hands, 3: Eye, 4: Chest, 5: Legs, 6: Ear." Separator: ","
"Broken: You take a spill and break something. Roll d6 | 1-2: Leg, 3-4: Arm, 5: Rib, 6: Skull." Separator: "|"
pg. 38
*An example hex map and exploration/crawl example would be real nice in this chapter.
pg. 59 *"Rickety platform. Lowerable walkway, currently raise."
Should be "raised".
"Dented tins. Strung from thin wire, fixed two stilts. Crude alarm."
Maybe this is my rusty english but shouldn't it be "fixed to stilts" or "fixed to two stilts"?
"d4 lobstrosts emerge and attack."
.."if alarm is triggered."
pg. 64
*"Encounter" table could be called "Encounter type" instead
pg. 62.
*"Roll d12 on the Encounters table (pg. 64) in each new area."
I'd clarify this as "Roll d12 on the Encounter type table (pg. 64) and then roll d6 on the Encounter Table (pg. 65) in each new area."
*I scratched my head a long time until i figured out what the parenthesis after the Locations table "Type and Size" meant (the "(+d6)" for Ruins for example)
Maybe set up the table something like this instead:
etc etc
| Type and Size | d6 |
|---|---|
| Shack (10) | 1 |
| Waystation (10+d4) | 2 |
| Ruins (10+d6) | 3 |
*pg. 79
Here I'd add a little suggestion text about the idea of creating and adding dead PCs/NPCs from other RPGs you've played with your group, which i think i heard you mentioning in one of your actual play videos or something like that. I think that's an awesome idea and would bring lots of "oh shit ITS HIM"-moments for players. It fits greatly with the theme of the game, as we both know as readers of The Dark Tower, "There are other worlds than these."
*A small dictionary or something alike at the end of the book would be great to easily look up game-specific words and their meaning. For example Errant = Group leader, Order = Group of players, Detachment = Group of combatants
And that's all for my first read-through of this game!
Man, it looks so much fun! Will be back after I've ran a one-or-two shot with more actual play feedback.
Thank you!
