I appreciated the sardonic, more detached look at the Battle Brothers and your commentary on their true nature - especially the sort of thinking that being quite literally genetically engineered for war would induce in them. (Are they that different from orks, when you get right down to it?) The line about "aim for their leader; he's the one not wearing a helmet" brought a lil' grin to my face. The hints of a larger story were nice as well. I see you've written something for one other jam here - am I right in guessing you're a relatively new writer? I say that only to lead into, I can't offer any criticism more specific than "needs polishing" - and I mean that in the "keep working, there's a jewel under there" sense. Keep writing, hone your craft and develop your voice, and I hope to read more from you next time around!
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Thank you, I appreciate that! I did one for the previous jam as well as a scifi short story called Zandura. (It's on Amazon but, the sooner I can stop relying on them the better) I hope to keep improving! I'm glad that line worked, I'd seen a video recently poking fun at minis not wearing helmets and thought to take that to a logical conclusion. I'm thinking of continuing this outside of the jam as well but I'm unsure at the moment. I have an idea for something but it usually takes the prompt announcement to get an idea goin. Thank you again!
That's the exact mentality I use! I wanted to tell a story with these alien dudes I had in my head for a while, so in 2020-21 I finally sat down and just, wrote. That's what I do when I see the jam prompts too, think of the base plot, write it, read it with my friends and streamline a bit like if a sentence might run on and whatnot. And hey, if what I made makes someone happy, that's my goal to entertain!