After reading when the sun rises I was hoping for something more interesting. The premise/concept feels like a Syfy tv show's pilot episode which is interesting, however....
The story/plot is very simple, the characters are nice but that's it. There isn't any thrill, drama or action and the MC is a passive character strung along by the story.
The MC is obviously written for a female MC, from being passive, having sleepovers to working as a waiter. Overall as a guy I'm not the biggest fan. Maybe the genre isn't for me but I was expecting more drama, conflict, thrills and plot. Maybe Mirror Mine was for the gals while When the Sun Rises were for the guys. The writing was solid though, no purple prose so I appreciate that.
Well the pacing seems realistic if you ask me, because you know the mc disappeared for 10 hecking years, and people are responding accordingly don't know what you're expecting while the characters are processing this. With what we're given so far with the end of chapter 3 is when stuff is gonna start to kick off. Also in the nicest of ways I chuckled at the "MC is clearly meant to be female because they worked at their moms cafe at a point in time and is stunned at missing 10 years of existence and require help."
Even the writing and dialogue was clearly written as a Female MC, this kinda reminds me of Wayhaven in COG. Its cool most authors are female and most IF and books are catered for women.
It would be better to just have all the LIs Gender Chooseable as guys don't have sleepovers.
Also I do agree that the writing is "realistic" but the issue is realism doesn't make for good storytelling or writing.
The LIs are all boring and all like the MC, there's barely any drama or conflict so far. Let's be honest Scifi tends to lean towards Drama, it felt boring. Kinda reminds me of the Bumblebee movie, boring.
Wow. That's just so extremely...mean. Didn't know that comments nowdays have the purpose to belittle the story... It's not constructive criticism to say that sth was boring. Seriously.
If you don't like sth how about going somewhere else entirely?
And if one is inclined to comment regardless at least be a decent human being while at it.
There is not a single interactive fiction out there that has been easy to write. Creating something like that is so fucking hard and time- consuming. It's a blessing that authors share their art with us at all.
I really don't think you should feel entitled to put such a disheartening comment under other peoples work...
It can really Hurt and that shouldn't be one's goal.
Awh Boohoo, sorry not everyone's a girl. Not my fault male authors take criticism better especially when they're not wokies who care more about diversity than a good story.
Also most IF are mediocre tbh, it all started with COG being lame and HG being terrible, then HG in 2016 had 2 gems and now its become bigger since.
Also most authors just copy Wayhaven and Fallen Hero or other works, most of them are bad, this one is just lame. Shame its still active while the good ones end at the first chapter lol
While I agree with some of your statements, I think it's essential to consider that the reason the story seems simple so far is because it's a demo. I'm sure that as more updates get released we'll see the story grow to be more dramatic and thrilling.
You mentioned that this story is intended for a female audience simply because the MC worked as a waiter and has sleepovers. What do those two things have anything to do with the MC's gender???
Also, what's the point of you playing IF games when you think the majority of them are mediocre? Making that sexist comment about men taking criticism better than women was also completely unnecessary. I think your original post was pretty solid in terms of criticism, but all your other replies afterward are just rude and lack any tact.
Sorry "sexism" is reality with most male authors taking better criticism better. My experiences with female authors has been terrible, while almost all male authors I've criticized say thank you and take it well. I've had a few female authors who were good but the rest were terrible.
In fact most female authors ignore criticism well, Wayhaven's author has been known to do this with even her majority female fans complaining lol.
"You mentioned that this story is intended for a female audience simply because the MC worked as a waiter and has sleepovers. What do those two things have anything to do with the MC's gender???"
These are female activities in general, how many male characters in fiction do these things? This is the first I've ever seen in my life whether it be a book, IF, tv show, comics, etc.
Also you said its just the first chapter, bruh the first chapter is suppose to be the best, if chapter 1 is this boring I can only imagine what the rest of it would be. But hey I'm not following this story anyways, one of the most mediocre IF stories I've seen on itch but fangirls will disagree as usual.
"These are female activities in general" I'm a dude, so I get it can kinda suck sometimes when a lot of IF's are targeted towards women. It is what is right? But what is feminine about being a waiter? Like there are tons of waiters, and you could say it's a female dominated industry, but plenty of dudes are nurses too? It's just such a nothing point. And although yeah sleep overs are more feminine, plenty of dudes have sleep overs, I I had sleepovers when I was younger. Also, it'd be better to explain why the story was boring then just saying it was. It's not my favorite, but you offer bad criticism, y'know?