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Flaekingr

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A member registered Apr 07, 2023 · View creator page →

Creator of

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Which one?

(1 edit)

Yeah, this is the backstory for my Grotskrieg army. All the Goblins, all the time !! :D

Cheers, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

I spent a lot of this read confused, thinking one character was another when it turned out to be the XO? But not Bodkin? And the scene changes were quite abrupt and a little jarring. All that aside, cool idea to pursue further.

This was an amazing read!!

I feel like the ending was quite rushed. It didn't make too much sense and the spelling errors multiplied, just felt like a time crunch. Cool idea though, and I'd love to read more about this planet defending itself next Jam :)

Good premise, but lacks subtlety.  Show, don't tell. Let your readers figure the theme out for themselves. The unbeatable and awesomely awesome battle brothers trope is also done to death. 

But, saying all that, you wrote something and submitted it for other people to see and give feedback on. That's really awesome and I'm genuinely looking forward to what you write next🙂

So, it was an entertaining read and the character was very well done. 

I couldn't really follow what exactly happened and what an inquisitor was doing there. I also don't really follow how it was strength VS intelligence. 

But yeah, I really enjoyed it nonetheless

Love love love that you turned the stereotype on its head in this story! Great read! 

Great story! It needs a bit of polishing in terms of grammar, but I found it to be a very engaging read. 

Nicely done! I especially liked that you didn't overtly state how it was strength VS intelligence but rather let the story tell it.