itch.io

Great story that flowed well and was very easy to follow, not always easy in  1000 words.

PS:  Not a criticism, but I think Yavan-4 might be a little too on the nose for some of us Star Wars nerds.

You clearly know how to write, but I'm not sure I loved the format of essentially having our narrator/protagonist just read us his (and his robot pals') personal history. Maybe if there was more of a twist at the end it would have paid off, but the lack of any action in the present made it lack some impact for me.

I admit this is difficult with the word constraints we have, but more showing and less telling is always the way to go if you can manage it. 

Still a solid read though. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm being too negative because I still enjoyed it!

You clearly know how to write, but I'm not sure I loved the format of essentially having our narrator/protagonist just read us his (and his robot pals') personal history. Maybe if there was more of a twist at the end it would have paid off, but the lack of any action in the present made it lack some impact for me.

I admit this is difficult with the word constraints we have, but more showing and less telling is always the way to go if you can manage it. 

Still a solid read though. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm being too negative because I still enjoyed it!

My understanding is that Stingers are basically OPR Striking Scorpions.

I appreciate the criticism and agree entirely about the pacing. Ideally I’d have more time to show Darguth turning. Maybe if I ever flesh this out into something more 😎

Funny story: Darguth is one my good friends’ go-to names for all of his dwarf characters for the past 25 years or so. 

Maybe I’m in the minority, but I enjoyed the twist ending. I could see it become more of a true friendship if it were a longer story. You can only do so much with a single page. 

Thanks! As expected it was a bit rushed and some liberties were taken with how vampires work haha, but in one page what can you do?

I mean, they both thought the other was an ally.