I wrote a blurb at the first 24 hours that was basically congratulating myself (and everyone) for actually just STARTING the adventure of game dev, and how much fun it is to see an idea of yours get created, with a little extra did-it-myself garnish. Well, now that the honeymoon has long passed, how are we all holding up?
We've jumped into the pool, we're learning, we're working, we're have low points and high points. At times when I was feeling especially down about myself and my progress, I'd check out the twitter hashtag and see what's been submitted, or browse a few posts. I felt some kinship in seeing other people puzzle out how to do what they wanted to do, feel happy someone got something major working, or had a bit of a laugh at someone's latest "guys this is broken" glitchy gif. I wasn't alone. That felt great. If anything, that's one of the best things the Jam is doing for me: doing something alongside others and sharing in what it's like.
I've learned a couple things so far in the week. The biggest one being that there's a lot of mundanity that goes on behind the scenes of a game that needs painstakingly worked out. As it turns out, developing isn't quite as easy as waving a magic wand and poof, the graphics on level 3 get tightened up or that move gets nerfed or a whole new upgrade system is in place. I've sat down to work out loops for combat. I've agonized trying to figure out WHY ON EARTH I have to quit the game several times before it finally quits. I've got my game stuck in an infinitely-looping reward-screen hell of exponentially-increasing gold rewards, as though defeating the first enemy converted the world into a Midas Universe where all turns to gold.
As for my actual working-on-game, I've reduced it to a bit of a spare-time routine, adding small bits here and there when whimsy takes me, sometimes sitting down for a couple hours straight to work on something I'm highly geared to. I'll admit some motivation troubles, and it's a little discouraging to see what I actually have versus what I imagined: where I had cool ideas of a fancy ascii/ansi-based RPG adventure, I instead have a dippy little game with no color with simple gameplay that outputs in a terminal.
But, so far, I think I'm coming to terms with that. My idea didn't have much behind it: some math, outputting some text, and some loops, and everything after that's been expansions to the small target I set myself. Of course it'd turn out simple in practice. And, in fairness, I started from knowing very little and I don't think anybody ever gets the first project looking like their masterpiece. So, I have my pile of functions and loops and plus-and-minuses and if it doesn't end up as a good game, it at least stays as a good learning experience. I wouldn't frame it and put it on my wall or anything, but I feel okay about what I've pulled off. Maybe hang it on the fridge. Fridge seems like the best spot for it.
I feel that thought is worth exploring deeper. Some of you, you might be like how I am, you're looking at what you've actually created and feel "meh" about it. That's okay. It's just like anything else. Making games is almost a meta-skill, something that takes so many other skills, and yet is also a skill all on its own. I'll risk guessing that most of us don't have much if any experience in it. Be unskilled. Make it messy. Celebrate what you HAVE made and what you HAVE gained from making it, not all the things that you haven't. It can be frustrating to have a vision and not see it come to life, but don't let it hurt you, let it drive you.
After all, there's always the sequel. Right?