Play book
Back Into the Fray's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #20 | 3.448 | 3.448 |
| Overall | #28 | 3.276 | 3.276 |
| Adherence to the Theme | #30 | 3.000 | 3.000 |
| Concept & Originality | #30 | 3.379 | 3.379 |
Ranked from 29 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
A fantastic portrayal of Beastman culture and its deeper elements above the typical marauding herds and raiders. The idea of them having a view of "The balance" is a fantastic idea (and one I may have to be inspired by myself) and I would love to see more of your version of them in the future as an avid Beastman fan myself.
Great work!
I liked the fight scenes
It is a reflection, I didn't think of the theme that way
I love the feel of the story, the thoughts of a champion, and a líder in the moments of battle
really love the Beastman faction so enjoyed this story a lot. I love how you did the Beastmen as more of keepers of natures balance and as tribes people than ravaging marauders.
Thanks, I was trying to picture predators that were in tune with nature. They seem brutal and savage when you are on the receiving end and maybe because you don't understand the culture.
Good on you for giving the beastmen an actual culture; I always appreciate attempts to do things differently and take ideas in a new direction. I liked the story overall, although the middle section, where you shift from present action to past narration, felt a little rushed. I would have appreciated a little more time to take in the details. I also found Gnarl's characterization to be unclear. You write about his loving the spray of blood and losing himself in battle fury, but he also calmly takes time to contemplate whether or not his mechanical opponents care if he curses at them. Don't get me wrong, that paragraph was very funny, but I felt it clashed with the rest of the writing about Gnarl.
Thanks for the comment, I was trying to get some culture building in there and trying to pack it into 1k words or less is tough so I think you are correct and it ended up a bit rushed.
I was trying to go for a thinking warrior that does like the battle, but not a berserker that gives into it. He does have a fury that builds within him while fighting, but it does not make him go blind to the contemplative side and he manages both. Essentially trying to place the Beastmen or at least individuals within as more complex than savage, marauding brutes.
You're right - it is hard to fit everything into a thousand words, and I can definitely see you were trying to thread that needle. As for the details of Gnarl's characterization, that makes sense. A simple shift in the language from talking about how his blood fury 'builds' and 'rises' to describing him as 'stoking' or 'building' it (just as suggestions) I think would really help that become clear to the reader.
Respect for the our beasty bois. I really liked the beast worldbuilding.
Great world-building here. I could easily imagine the beastmen culture, and it felt ready for more exploration.
Good cinematic action! The fights move quickly with much at stake.
I did find a bit difficult, especially in the first few paragraphs, to form an image of what was happening.
A few words of description of Gnarl would have been nice, even just to know that he's not human. That all came out eventually, of course.
Good world building, though! And I lol'd at "he muttered a second curse about it's lack of a mother".