I had the same thought when reading your story! The Beastmen can work so well on both sides of the coin and I am very pleased to see they got to be shown in both ways this Jam. :)
A very well piece that does a lot to flesh out the culture of the Dynasty and how it views the various worlds around it. Aside from a couple of changing tenses (something I would entirely put down to the time 48 hour time limit of the writing jam not allowing much opportunity for proof reading), I very much enjoyed this. Your writing style lends itself very well to the Dynasty.
A fantastic portrayal of Beastman culture and its deeper elements above the typical marauding herds and raiders. The idea of them having a view of "The balance" is a fantastic idea (and one I may have to be inspired by myself) and I would love to see more of your version of them in the future as an avid Beastman fan myself.
Part of your daily reminder that life in a military force like the HDF sucks and any success you have will be quickly forgotten whilst you defeats will always be remembered. A great, dark tone for a harsh life.
A very interesting portrayal of the mentality that would drive a man to act against those he truly wants to protect mixed in with a healthy about of well executed world building. I found myself genuinely interested with the character by the end. Live it.
First person can often be tricky to write in and often requires a lot of proof reading and redrafts in order to have it flow right. I do think that this story suffered a tad from the short 48 writing period we had and thus could not get the attention of edits that it really wanted. This does not take away from the core of the story, which I actually really like.
If you do any edits or redrafts of this, I would very much like to read them!
A gritty portrayal of the cold logic of war and the fact that every man in a military force like the HDF are ultimately nothing more than numbers to be moved from one column to another upon death and then immediately replaced. I do feel more could have been done with the theme of the Writing Jam besides a passing mention of reflective lights, but in all honesty, I am also happy with what was done here. To put more into the theme would have run the danger of taking away from what you were actually writing about.
A gritty portrayal of the cold logic of war and the fact that every man in a military force like the HDF are ultimately nothing more than numbers to be moved from one column to another upon death and then immediately replaced. I do feel more could have been done with the theme of the Writing Jam besides a passing mention of reflective lights, but in all honesty, I am also happy with what was done here. To put more into the theme would have run the danger of taking away from what you were actually writing about.
I have always been a fan of seeing the mentality of soldiers and commanders in the quite moments before battle. When they stop and considered what they are doing, are about to do and why. This story does a fantastic job at portraying that moments of internal conflict and the character of Alessandra is so few words. I would genuinely love to see more about her and her world overrun by Havoc.
I did not expect to find a fairy tail mixed in with the already incredibly varied entries to the Writing Jam but I very pleased to do so. A fantastic idea well executed!
I think this is a hidden gem of a story that really shines as you read though it. It starts of slow and looks like it may get bogged down, and yet turns into quite a compelling read as you go on. Very well done!
I really liked how you played on the reflective nature of the different elves in the opening. A great entry and one that, looking at the other comments from people below, will need me to do some further research as this is a reoccurring character. To the previous OPR writing!
I really liked this play on the idea of reflections, one that I would not have thought of doing. Two hunters who are a prefect reflection of each others actions whilst hunting the other. So different in race and creed, yet oh so similar at the same time. Very well done!
This gave me some serious Hag house in the forest kind of vibe and more than delivered on the creepy vibe that such a story should have. The build up was well done and the use of environment to support the tone was excellent.
If I was going to ask for anything with it, it would have been to know a bit more about the environment to better support said tone, but doing so with the assigned word limit is very hard to do. Either way, loved it!
This seems like a good basis for the start of the story it has all the characters it needs and a location that is ripe for use. It just needs some juice to it now. Something for the reader to sink their teeth into. The theme is very much there, but currently the story is wanting for a bit more to flesh it out. I hope to see a future draft of how this develops in time!
I really liked the dynamic of the two characters shown here, reflections of each other and the cruel path fate had spread out before them. Well written and containing a good sense of emotion, I quite enjoyed this one.
I enjoyed the fast pace and present tense that this story was written in, it leant itself well to the rapid tone of battle and flight. The character of Laurel and her familiar Wisp were also quite enjoyable.
I do feel like this could do with a bit of a additional draft here and there just to help the flow a little bit, and I do confess that I do not openly see the connection to the theme. So maybe a tad of clarification on that would work?
A story about a Rat folk princess? Sign me up straight away!
I toughly enjoyed this. Arima was a great character to read and the world building you managed to place around her quest was thoroughly enjoyable. This was honestly an occasion I wish there there was more to read!
To see someone reflect upon their life in their final moments can often be done as a sad thing, but I like that here it is portrayed almost as a success. The Magus has much to show for his life and I was pleasantly pleased that he was accepting of things as he was, made for an interesting and symbolic read. Excellent work!
I'm a big fan of the tone and writing style here. It does a really good job of portraying the mentality of a Battle Brother in so short an amount of time (something many other authors would spend an entire book to do). Their interactions with the regular human soldier is often completely negated by arrogance whilst here it absolutely shines.
I like that idea that I can see forming here and showing someone's experiences fighting against the Elven Jesters has a lot of potential for atmosphere. I do feel like this story could have benefited from a couple of additional drafts or rereads to truly embrace the idea however. The journal nature of it is a fantastic framing device but would benefit from a bit of finetuning to get across what it is you are aiming for.
Either way though, as an idea and a framing, I love it.
One of the things I love about games that have such a wide range of races (especially when they can be made so uniquely individual), is how interesting it is to see their different mentalities play off from each other. This is something that you have really managed to pull of here. The use of lots of different, small things to show the contrast between the factions (from complex vs simple names to eloquent language vs guttural grunts) really helped to show the difference and support their opposite views on the use of weapons. Very well done!
As an opening prologue, I quite like it. It does well at setting the tone for what is to come and the first encounter between the two forces. I must say I do also like how well it works with the pictures of the models that you included. I think it may have benefited from a proof read or two and maybe a tad more emphasis on where the theme fit in, but beyond that it more than does its job with ample to say.
A very interesting take on the theme of reflection and one that hits all the right notes to give a twisted view of such an order's mentalities. Nothing was over done or described, and that only made for a far more...eerier tone. I love it.
A great look into the mentality of an alien race and how much more primitive humanity would appear to them. The writing style was fantastic and showed their thoughts to be both familiar and yet, just off enough to feel very alien. Excellent work!
Its a very rare thing to see a writing for Lizard folk in any setting that makes them interesting to read. Normally they are portrayed as somewhat void of emotion or very matter of fact (I could mention a very exceptions but that is beside the point).
This short story however does a fantastic job at making the them both feel very appropriate to their roots and yet explores something new and interesting in their mentality. Combined with some fantastic imagery and you have something gold. Love it!
Ok, I really liked this one. Space Saurians Vs Robot Legions is such a cool image with the proud savagery of one against the silent death of the other. The action was well written and made for a good focus for the main character to reflect upon his own failures in his final moments. Well done and very compelling!
A fantastically handled short story that sets up both an interesting character and provides many hooks for the universe as a whole. Fully embracing the Samurai style of the Dynasty gave them a lot of character (They even had a death Haiku!) and contrasts them well with the other factions they are fighting. My only request would be if there could be a way to add a bit of clarity to the different time jumps. Just more for layout than anything. Love it!
I've always been a sucker for a good last stand story.
The writing of this was well done, full of action and a lot of heart in-between the fighting. It made me actually want to know more about the characters on both sides, both the Wood Elves and the Havoc Warriors. Big thumbs up!
I really like the tone of the story and characters you are going for here. A brother morning his twin whilst remembering their relationship is a tricky thing to do right with any word count but you certainly succeeded in bringing over that tone here.
If I was just to give any advice it would be that it could have done with batch of proof reading or even simply reading it aloud to yourself to see how it sounds. The actual events were a tad difficult to follow and I had to reread a couple of bits to click what you meant. The flow and clarity would benefit greatly from that.
Despite that, I loved the tone you aimed for and the imagery of a reflected twin's face is always a powerful one. Well done!
I quite enjoyed reading this one. The situation of a scavengers searching ghost ships after a battle offers a lot for tense scenes (especially in a setting where Daemons prowl) and the sudden build up of imagery with the reflecting eye lenses worked quite well. Plus, I admit to having a good chuckle with the password attempts. Whilst everything at the end was very sudden, that felt appropriate for the intended tone plus with the aimed word count, there is only so much that could be done to foreshadow. I would have liked a tad more to explore the environment they were in, location and tone is oh so effective when foreshadowing a sudden horror ending. Beyond that however, loved it. :)
