I enjoyed the story quite a bit, and I think you did a really nice job on this. My biggest gripe is in the formatting, I think the font could have been decreased to make it all fit on one page and for readability. But all in all, I enjoyed this.

A very well piece that does a lot to flesh out the culture of the Dynasty and how it views the various worlds around it. Aside from a couple of changing tenses (something I would entirely put down to the time 48 hour time limit of the writing jam not allowing much opportunity for proof reading), I very much enjoyed this. 
Your writing style lends itself very well to the Dynasty.

Well done. I appreciated the Asian vibe.

Beautiful prose in this story. Excellent work. I love the jumping back and forth from the past and the present was done well with the italics. This and A Destiny of War by Galilad feel like companion pieces that flesh out the Eternal Dynasty from different angles in unique, compelling ways.

I really liked this work. You had some very powerful prose and explored the narrator's personality very well. I liked the use of italics to divide past from present, it helped everything flow nicely. I also appreciated how you used a unique but still recognizable vision of the TAO Coalition faction's culture. Very well done overall; one of my favourite pieces so far!

Lovely prose! The first paragraph is a beautiful visual, with "branches rattling together as they cast their leaves and petals into the air." You can almost smell it. :)

I understand that the moment in which the man was meditating is supposed to be the present, so the present tense is appropriate there. But you switch between present and past tenses in his memories, which was a bit confusing at times.

I really liked the glimpses of his feelings at being a father, and his pride in his daughter. Very lovely. Well done!