Play story
I live next to a train track's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| BEST GAME | #25 | 3.235 | 3.235 |
| SCARIEST GAME | #39 | 2.412 | 2.412 |
Ranked from 17 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
This was great! The first half alone was really effective as a character study: you described the player character's interior world really relatably and evocatively. The change of feel with the arrival of the train worked really well too.
Overall, this was really well-paced, surreal and imaginative. Nicely done!
This is a well-executed piece of interactive fiction. I did speed read it, but I interpreted it as dealing with nightmares that come with anxiety, and processing the uncanny between real and imagined. I think the setup was excellent and really allowed the reader to invest in the character and their background, whilst also being able to use choices to direct the narrative in a few ways. This allowed it to feel like a very fluid, open ended story, which is exactly what you want with this format! Well done!
Thanks for submitting I Live Next to a Train Track to the SCREAM MACHINE jam!
- SCREAM CATALOGUE
This was a neat experience. The sound effects really added to the story, and the writing was well done, I was drawn in instantly. I got chills when the gunmen came out. There were a couple of typos/odd sentences, but that's totally excusable when working on a tight schedule.
Wow, I enjoyed this game. I've been planning on experimenting with Ink, and your game has solidified that plan. I love how the story moves through these simple descriptions of the flat and the surroundings; I was really able to dive into the setting. I also loved how the colors complimented the story, particularly as the paranoia sets in (regarding the shadow). I have just a few minor comments/recommendations:
1. I liked how many of the choices seemed to be filling in sentences. But I think that would be extended by having them actually do that in the text, instead of having a paragraph break where they continue. Think the first choice I made had this.
2. There are a few places where you can cut repetitive words that won't alter the story. One that drew my attention was, "My finances are a mess and this place is the only place anywhere near my..." I would cut the first "place" as it is unnecessary. I also saw a few missing periods ("They must have seen me They must be here to do something to me"), but again these are incredibly minor.
3. While I did like the color changing, I got to a point where it changed to purple, but all the text was the same from before. Is there a way to make it more seamless? I ended up just rereading all of that text as I was unsure if I was missing something.
But as I mentioned, these are all very minor in contrast to the excellent story you have created. I thank you for letting me play/read it and thank you for sharing it!
Absolutly give Ink a shot, I love playing around with it, it really is something you experiment with more than learn I find. I also found the JavaScript and HTML it exports as easy to edit and implement my atmosphere changes. In regards to your comments:
Thanks again for all the feedback!
Of course and thanks again for sharing your game :)
Nice use of choice in the story and fairly unnerving descriptions when paired with the sfx. The colors of the UI did a good job of fitting the moments in the story too.
Thanks for the feedback!
The story is interesting, descriptions are good and the sound design is great!
Thank you for the feedback!
Neat concept! I like that the machine is a perversion of the familiar, and the soundscape and the colors are chosen/implemented well. More interactive fiction should use sound, honestly.
Thanks! Like I said in the description, it's based on a real experience I had when I was woken up by track maintenance, which scared the heck out of me.
The sound design was the part that was the newest for me, so I'm glad to hear it worked well. The only real sound I needed to edit properly was the sound of the machine, and that just really needed to be loud and disorientating, so it wasn't too difficult.
Thanks for the feedback!
Really enjoyed picking decisions and hearing everything in the background. Good game !
Thank you!