Oh WOW. Like magic, the music's final bells tolled as I read the last page. Though I know that was due to pure luck and my ridiculously fast reading speed, it added to the tone of the ending and shows how well your music can complement a story when timed correctly (I'm not sure how easy that is to do in Twine so I don't judge how you've posted your final work). Your composing talent shines with this entry! 🎵🎵

I saw on your project page that you mentioned D&D and (because I've been playing D&D a lot lately) I felt like this was being read to me by a DM about an NPC that the party is spying on while deciding whether we should save him from prison.

I want to play a few more times and see the little bits of foreshadowing that I missed. Nice job on this one! 

I was a little thrown off by this project being labeled as a book, but my confusion was rectified pretty quickly. 

Now this is interesting! Despite how little is really explained, I love the world building. The setting feels like a familiar one while also feeling like something I haven't really seen before. I also really like all the little implications and textures in the writing. Things like the protagonist having an "adventurous past," thanking his dog for being with him, the letter in the book... it all paints a vague yet vivid picture that really fascinated me. 

And the format... well, I thought the formatting was super interesting. Getting to look at a myriad of things in the room and having them add their own little details to the bigger picture, as well as having them fizzle away as you finish reading the passages, is quite an interesting mechanical crutch. I also love how that whole fizzling thing and some of the details you learn smoothly tie into the lil' twist at the end. 

I like it! Nice work. 

I was a little bit confused by the soundtrack; I guess I was expecting Dubstep for the second movement.

This is a captivating tale about an aging man who can't afford to go to Middle Earth but will settle for something like it. It's sad, but true. In the words of Hidalgo: "based on a true story."

Okay, enough Lord of the Rings jokes.

In all seriousness: I was a bit confused by the writing, and the lore was Elvish to me. I had to revisit it in order to understand, but the music distracted me, since it did not adapt to the game events. I'm not sure whether I was supposed to root for the protagonist or not. There were numerous references to a World, but not much in the way of building one. I don't feel that I am sufficiently acquainted with the political machinations of this setting in order to become invested in its upheavals and the ruminations of its Brutus. The score serves to allude to drama and action or suspense, but since everything is told from the perspective of confinement it becomes inappropriate. This is the sort of score you want to run around to, or otherwise plot and scheme; it just does not feel right for an aftermath. Perhaps some flashbacks would serve to turn this twine into a thicker thread, and programming different tracks to play during different events would help to eliminate the disconnect.

That's as constructive as I can be. Sorry for trolling earlier; I was legitimately confused, and my mind was teeming with Tolkien references.[({R.G.||S.M.G.)}]

I've gotta admit, I was taking pretty off guard by that ending. It wasn't until I got to it that I was able to see how well you'd dropped in hints of the backstory bit by bit. You did a good job setting up the whole pendant thing. There were some minor spelling and grammar errors, and I was a bit confused about the dwarven lady, but other than that I found this to be an interesting story!

(By the way, did you use the Harlowe (default) story format for this game? If so, there is a way to add music, by using the Harlowe Audio Library: https://twinelab.net/harlowe-audio/#/ Hope it helps!)

Hey, a new friend!!