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That was a beautiful read - very engaging. I loved your descriptions, especially 'moustaches flaring like an enraged stag' which is a great image and one that instantly gave me a feel for the character. Very well done! You also deftly put just enough detail into the battle to be evocative without being overwhelming. The transition from Vladeska's reminiscences of the noble party to his reminiscence of the underground gathering was a little jarring - one more use of the * section break might have been justified there.

Let me continue by saying that I loved the themes you were working with, how you wove together elements of different ideas that worked very well as an expression of Vladeska's character and the strong theme of old vs. new ways, and the twist was beautiful. The story would have worked perfectly with the theme of the previous jam ('Are We the Bad Guys?'). Unfortunately as an exploration of strength vs. intelligence it falls short. Again, I love how you address the ideas you're working with... but I can't honestly say the piece fits the theme.

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Hey small_grey_owl

Those are lovely comments. thanks so much for taking the time to give me such great feedback. It's all much appreciated and I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. 

You're probably right about the theme. I tried to make it subtle and have multiple elements,  ending with  the triumph of a 'strong intelligence' but it was probably a bit too intangible. I just wanted to get away from the standard trope of wizard vs fighter etc. 

Good luck :)

You have put together some great themes and really pulled together a strong character-driven piece. And maybe I'm being too narrow in my own understanding of the theme - I like to play with ideas too. I can definitely see where you've got a more thoughtful, introspective character running into the "strength" of thoughtless adherence to tradition / myopic self-centeredness of an entrenched elite class.