Ooo, what would you recommend I fix? I definitely want to learn from this
Viewing post in Through the Mists jam comments
You know, now that I'm reading through it again, I think it was mostly stylistic choices! The one thing that did stand out to me was "Strong it may be, but surely anything will fall if he could out-think it." I would have added more actions from the character that would show his approach, rather than telling through exposition. That said, it was really just a minor item and generally I think this is a great story!