Play book
Through the Mists's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concept & Originality | #2 | 4.318 | 4.318 |
| Overall | #4 | 3.970 | 3.970 |
| Adherence to the Theme | #8 | 3.909 | 3.909 |
| Flow & Clarity | #14 | 3.682 | 3.682 |
Ranked from 22 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
I love the use of the theme in this story. The strength element being not from soldiers or armies but an item is a really cool and unique idea. The ending too was really good, the stakes of the story ending up being completely unimportant but in a creative way that actually adds to the narrative and shows the consequences of the conflict.
Thanks for the good review!
I workshopped the idea a bit, but wanting to do a story about a Grail Relic was what I always wanted to write about, even before the jam started.
Luckily, it worked into the theme well.
Glad you liked the ending.
Btw, I really enjoyed your story as well!
stupid umies... I mean seriously, we could save the world but nooo, lets build steampunk robots instead lol. a really well written story, nice work!
So basically what I was using was the fact that the Duchies with their advanced tech didn’t see the use in some ridiculous old world prophecy that didn’t mean anything and focused on the material instead.
The Chivalrous Kingdom didn’t care about the material, but what it represented.
And the Orcs didn’t care at all. They just wanted the intruders gone.
Thanks for the compliment, btw, I’ll be sure to have a look at your story soon!
I loved the back and forth here. There's a couple small technical items I would address, but those aside, this is overall a really enjoyable read!
Ooo, what would you recommend I fix? I definitely want to learn from this
You know, now that I'm reading through it again, I think it was mostly stylistic choices! The one thing that did stand out to me was "Strong it may be, but surely anything will fall if he could out-think it." I would have added more actions from the character that would show his approach, rather than telling through exposition. That said, it was really just a minor item and generally I think this is a great story!
Oh I love this. One man's treasure is another man's trash. I could imagine the 'WTF?' look on his face at seeing all the dead warriors that were like that when he got there. Classic.
thanks! I’ve actually been considering writing another story or two about G’lgraark. I feel his story doesn’t end here.
Also yeah, stupid humans and their problems. Lol.
a dark comedy is hard and you pulled it off excellently in the space provided, so well done!
thanks!
I don’t know if I’ve read your story yet, but I look forward to checking it out!
A good piece overall, with a well-realized viewpoint character. I think you might have addressed the theme a little better by presenting a character with actual intelligence, rather than one who only believes himself to be the smartest person in any room he's in. :) I enjoyed the interplay between the three factions and their different interests (or total lack of interest!) in the macguffin. I felt this placed the story nicely in the world, which I appreciated.
Thanks so much for the compliments!
I tried my best to make a character who showed some actual smarts, but who just couldn’t prevail against the strength of his opponent (the Macguffin), so I’m glad somebody thinks I did decently at that!
Here I was going: “Let’s see, a spear already broke and hurt my arm, obviously I need to try to use a spear again” Woof, character needs smart.
Fun idea. The ending was quite hilarious. will be waiting to see what you do next jam.
Thanks!
Yeah, I wanted to go with a dark humor vibe, as is befitting for a story where the brawn wins (in a way)
I look forward to reading your story!
Great read!
thank you! Can’t wait to see what your story has to offer!