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I loved this story - I loved the different, and for my money more interesting take on the Havoc gods and their followers. I loved the premise, and I enjoyed the sort of grim determination with which the story, like its protagonists, clung to hope.

The pacing was off - the climax especially felt rushed. You mention being under a time crunch to finish the work, and I'm guessing that's a large part of why. It is a shame you couldn't give the story another round of polishing - but c'est la vie, I guess. I'm very intrigued with Nyso, and I was left wanting to know more about them and their journey. Overall well done - thank you!

Thank you so much for the praise and for the very valuable feedback. I was initially hesitant to send out my story because I knew it was flawed but ultimately I am glad I did it because I am learning so much and people seem to really appreciate the idea that the worshippers of War can be motivated by something more than pure destruction and bloodshed.

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I am also very glad you chose to send it out! More than anyone else, I should hope a group of fellow writers (or any creative types, really) would understand simply not having the time to give the finished product all the polishing it deserves. And I really do love to see especially the one-note Designated Evil factions get a different, more nuanced treatment, which you've done here in, again, a very intriguing and thoughtful way.