Play book
Last Stand's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to the Theme | #12 | 3.742 | 3.944 |
| Overall | #17 | 3.672 | 3.870 |
| Flow & Clarity | #21 | 3.479 | 3.667 |
| Concept & Originality | #22 | 3.795 | 4.000 |
Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Leave a comment
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
Comments
Good concept, flawed execution.
Still, I had a good time, and it’s given me a few thoughts on my inclusion for the Havoc based characters in and OPR RPG I’m making.
Hey I recognise you from the discord server :D Thank you for sharing your thoughts and yes, I wish I could have done the concept better justice. At least I was able to spread the idea that the followers of War can have more interesting motivations than blood for the blood throne, skulls for the skull god (legaly distinct deity).
I'm excited to see what you do with your RPG. It sounds very promising so far :)
Thanks. Yeah, I’ve been continuing work on planning how it all works.
The main thing that this story has done to change my thoughts towards the RPG was about inclusion of playable Havoc characters at all.
I’m working on AoF rn, so it’s the Havoc warriors specifically. Originally, I was like, well, it’s Havoc. Can’t have that.
But what you made me realize is that Havoc as a whole is evil, but it is a very different story on the individual scale.
I really loved this take on havoc, and the story has really good bones. My one critique is that the POV is a little inconsistent. In some parts you are writing in past tense, in others you are writing in present tense. Likewise the perspective is a tad confusing, it mostly reads from the perspective of the cultists but there are some sentences where the narrator does not know what they're thinking and other times where the narrator does.
I thoroughly enjoyed the story though, and with a little more polish this could be truly great!
Thank you, I think that is some very good insight. Yes, I did change the perspective a lot over the course of writing it. My initial idea was to write from the pov of an inquisitor but then I realised I really wanted to showcase the motivation of the followers of War. But my time was running out. I'm glad I sent it out though, I have learned a lot from the experience and the feedback!
Of course! Always better to finish something than to stop halfway. That's always something to be celebrated! I had the same struggles with the deadline, haha.
I loved this story - I loved the different, and for my money more interesting take on the Havoc gods and their followers. I loved the premise, and I enjoyed the sort of grim determination with which the story, like its protagonists, clung to hope.
The pacing was off - the climax especially felt rushed. You mention being under a time crunch to finish the work, and I'm guessing that's a large part of why. It is a shame you couldn't give the story another round of polishing - but c'est la vie, I guess. I'm very intrigued with Nyso, and I was left wanting to know more about them and their journey. Overall well done - thank you!
Thank you so much for the praise and for the very valuable feedback. I was initially hesitant to send out my story because I knew it was flawed but ultimately I am glad I did it because I am learning so much and people seem to really appreciate the idea that the worshippers of War can be motivated by something more than pure destruction and bloodshed.
I am also very glad you chose to send it out! More than anyone else, I should hope a group of fellow writers (or any creative types, really) would understand simply not having the time to give the finished product all the polishing it deserves. And I really do love to see especially the one-note Designated Evil factions get a different, more nuanced treatment, which you've done here in, again, a very intriguing and thoughtful way.
I like how beyond a few mentions of Havoc being involved, the Cultists are given more humanity than the ones pursuing them. I like the idea that OPR Havoc Disciples of War don't necessarily have to be a one track mind installed into a rage-filled psycho killer here. The idea that War Disciples can possibly have their own reasons to welcome War into their hearts, and not necessarily be the same for each Disciple also plays into the idea of every Faction can fight members from the same Faction without it being too silly. A War Disciple trying to fight to protect someone is just as interesting as one that just tries to collect head bones for a head bone throne.
That's exactly what I was going for. I'm fascinated with the question why somebody would willingly submit to a daemon. This is just one of many possible answers and I'm glad the concept resonates with so many people.
Loved it! First time I've seen a Havoc Brother protagonist, and they were really well done.
Thank you! Hopefully there will be many more :)
an interesting twist on the usual depiction of this protagonist faction, very nice!
Thank you!
Great story. One of the best I have read this jam.
You're too kind <3 I still believe there is much I can improve on but it warms my heart that you liked it so much.
Well paced, and well adherent to the theme. Its concept and its execution, I liked it through and through.
Thank you so much!