Thank you so much for the praise and for the very valuable feedback. I was initially hesitant to send out my story because I knew it was flawed but ultimately I am glad I did it because I am learning so much and people seem to really appreciate the idea that the worshippers of War can be motivated by something more than pure destruction and bloodshed.
I am also very glad you chose to send it out! More than anyone else, I should hope a group of fellow writers (or any creative types, really) would understand simply not having the time to give the finished product all the polishing it deserves. And I really do love to see especially the one-note Designated Evil factions get a different, more nuanced treatment, which you've done here in, again, a very intriguing and thoughtful way.