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I can only echo what the other commenters have said, this was a very entertaining story with an interesting perspective but could have been uncluttered a little bit. I'm excited to read more from you!

A classic story, and well told through the medium of a letter. It's unfortunately not really on theme, more of a strength vs faith or perhaps faith vs faith kind of story. Still, it got me invested in the main character's plight and I hope to see more of this world you have created.

A touching story. I liked how the sober tone of the narrator contrasted with the tragedies that were described. Only toward the end did we get an insight into the emotions and motivations behind the decisions. Very nice.

Very cool setting and a fun story. I think the part with Sera felt a little disconnected from the conflict between Aisha and her brother, it would have been cool to have a little build-up to the fight at the end. Still, the ending was heart-warming and overall the story flowed well.

Very cool! Great to see a faction not represented by a singular species.

Excellent. I love the how the story twists and turns like a vine around the central theme of betrayal with elegant descriptions. Unfortunately the theme of the jam gets a little bit muddied though it is still clearly in there. On its own this is a fantastic story and I especially love that it portrays the traditionally evil necromancer as a sympathetic, heroic figure instead.

Excellent. I love the how the story twists and turns like a vine around the central theme of betrayal with elegant descriptions. Unfortunately the theme of the jam gets a little bit muddied though it is still clearly in there. On its own this is a fantastic story and I especially love that it portrays the traditionally evil necromancer as a sympathetic, heroic figure instead.

That was a lovely and frightening story. I wasn't sure who to be scared of, the weird bird demon change magic guys, the oppressively silent inquisition or the baron with his ability to casually deploy armies of titans. Overall I would have liked a little more clarity on the relationship between the inquisition and the other factions. Like what kind of assurance was the inquisition looking for? Definitely a very intriguing story though.

Hey I recognise you from the discord server :D Thank you for sharing your thoughts and yes, I wish I could have done the concept better justice. At least I was able to spread the idea that the followers of War can have more interesting motivations than blood for the blood throne, skulls for the skull god (legaly distinct deity).
I'm excited to see what you do with your RPG. It sounds very promising so far :)

Thank you, I think that is some very good insight. Yes, I did change the perspective a lot over the course of writing it. My initial idea was to write from the pov of an inquisitor but then I realised I really wanted to showcase the motivation of the followers of War. But my time was running out. I'm glad I sent it out though, I have learned a lot from the experience and the feedback!

Thank you so much for the praise and for the very valuable feedback. I was initially hesitant to send out my story because I knew it was flawed but ultimately I am glad I did it because I am learning so much and people seem to really appreciate the idea that the worshippers of War can be motivated by something more than pure destruction and bloodshed.

That's exactly what I was going for. I'm fascinated with the question why somebody would willingly submit to a daemon. This is just one of many possible answers and I'm glad the concept resonates with so many people.

Thank you! Hopefully there will be many more :)

Thank you!

You're too kind <3 I still believe there is much I can improve on but it warms my heart that you liked it so much.

Thank you so much!

Severely underrated by people without a sense of humour. This was brilliant, the words flowed from the screen right into my brain and made me laugh out loud. Original, bold and still 100% on theme.

Making a very clear point without saying it outright, just beautiful

That was extremely interesting to read, unfortunately I found it hard to identify the central conflict and how each character/faction was positioned. Would love to read more of this vision of the Robot Legions!