Of course! Always better to finish something than to stop halfway. That's always something to be celebrated! I had the same struggles with the deadline, haha.
I really loved this take on havoc, and the story has really good bones. My one critique is that the POV is a little inconsistent. In some parts you are writing in past tense, in others you are writing in present tense. Likewise the perspective is a tad confusing, it mostly reads from the perspective of the cultists but there are some sentences where the narrator does not know what they're thinking and other times where the narrator does.
I thoroughly enjoyed the story though, and with a little more polish this could be truly great!
This might be my favorite one so far! Characterization was incredibly well done, you brought life and individuality to a host of characters in a very very small time, which is impressive. You also built some excellent back story for the characters and insinuated a coming conflict that really brought the story to life. Well done!
Not fitting the formatting will likely get this disqualified. Which is a shame, because I really enjoyed it. Sure the characterization could have used some more fleshing out, and I'm not sure how more infantry survived than were originally under their command, but the structure and the subject matter were fantastic. Very grim, very dark.
I disagree. While both predators were strong, it was the trap that the gator laid that gave it the advantage. Using it's wits to overpower an equally strong foe
I loved this piece. The theme is definitely subtle, which I mean as a huge compliment! My only critique would be that it could have used more poetic language and prose, considering the Pauline letters you clearly drew inspiration from. It's definitely there at times, but you fall into a more conversation tone in some places. A more consistent prose would have really elevated this story.
The biggest compliment I can give this, though, is that I finished it wanting to read more! I was very excited to read this when you were discussing your idea on discord and you did not disappoint!
What everyone is saying about it being too on the nose with the theme is correct, and lacking a more focused perspective - as Caracal mentioned - is the biggest thing that could improve this story. For instance, instead of saying that the nameless battle brothers outsmarted and out maneuvered the nameless orcs, try to hone in on exactly what they did that won them the battle. Let the reader see the theme between the lines. Writing a coherent story in under 1000 words is hard, so it's okay to focus in on a small aspect of a potentially larger battle. Perhaps, what did one marine do that turned the tide of a losing battle?
I hope you use all the good advice in these comments and keep writing, there's definite potential here!
Loved this one! I agree with Caracal that the theme isn't as apparent as it could be. I could see how K-7S2's actions could be interpreted as more of a brute force method than true intellect, but it did still feel more like a battle of wits than strength vs intellect. That being said, I can't find anything else to critique and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
