Play Short Story
Letter from Ariadne to the Makrians's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Concept & Originality | #21 | 3.796 | 4.118 |
Flow & Clarity | #23 | 3.471 | 3.765 |
Overall | #29 | 3.254 | 3.529 |
Adherence to the Theme | #34 | 2.495 | 2.706 |
Ranked from 17 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
A classic story, and well told through the medium of a letter. It's unfortunately not really on theme, more of a strength vs faith or perhaps faith vs faith kind of story. Still, it got me invested in the main character's plight and I hope to see more of this world you have created.
Fluffy faithy fondness.
Amen
A lovely original piece. I love the letter concept. That leaning into the faction theme really shines. It is great as a stand-alone item, but can easily fit into a greater narrative if desired. The theme is on the subtle side and blends in well.
The wording could maybe be tightened up a bit to provide a steady narrative.
I loved this piece. The theme is definitely subtle, which I mean as a huge compliment! My only critique would be that it could have used more poetic language and prose, considering the Pauline letters you clearly drew inspiration from. It's definitely there at times, but you fall into a more conversation tone in some places. A more consistent prose would have really elevated this story.
The biggest compliment I can give this, though, is that I finished it wanting to read more! I was very excited to read this when you were discussing your idea on discord and you did not disappoint!
Top notches for originality.
It’s hard to write a non-linear story, especially with the framework of a letter.
The grammar could’ve used another edit or two, but I overall enjoyed myself immensely.
the idea of faith as an aspect of intelligence applied against a seemingly stronger enemy is subtle. Well written, though not sure why an alien captive would allow a letter to go out (that may be too foreign a concept), yet I might be over thinking it, which in itself says a lot for the piece to generate deliberation on intent.
"He looked upon the letter, and he saw that it was good." Very well done. I have a soft spot for writing styles like this, especially after binging some early epics. However, I don't think this fits the theme of the jam. It might've gotten lost in translation. Still, a very fun piece, and one that hit.
It definately feels like an epistle from Saint Paul!
That’s what I was thinking!