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A jam submission

far reaches but from inside a busView project page

impression composing jam 2 submission
Submitted by Kayugames — 7 days, 5 hours before the deadline
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far reaches but from inside a bus's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Correlation to Theme#402.8002.800
Composing Quality#482.8002.800
Overall Uniqueness/Creativity#502.9202.920
Overall#542.5802.580
Overall Uniqueness/Creativity (double field for weight)#542.3602.360
Execution#562.3602.360
Listenability#562.2402.240

Ranked from 25 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Link to Streaming Service
https://soundcloud.com/kayu-pla/farreachesbutinabus?si=2be6395c571940a4b9da1ddfa323c45b&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Description
faraway lands but in a bus. Looking through the window in air-conditioned comfort. Being amazed by the strangeness of the scenery and feeling in brief moments the danger of our ignorance in this new world.

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Comments

Submitted

I like the synth in 0:50. The tone immediately induced melancholy and nostalgia; I do not know why, but cool!

Submitted(+1)

I like the melody you put together, but like most people said the only main issue is the clustered triad chords especially in the low ends, you create a muddy mix because of that. i guarantee that if you change your voicing and spread your chords it will sound clearer and better.

Submitted(+1)

Like others have mentioned the saw has a bit too many notes in the low registers so it overpowers the other sounds a bit, but the material itself sounds nice!

HostSubmitted(+1)

It's a cool vibe, but I think the mix ends up a little harsh and kind of smashed together.

Good work overall though.

Submitted(+1)

I like what you've got going on, I think maybe using a convolver on the saw would improve the mix altogether. 

Submitted(+1)

Personally, I really like this style. Your melody is really nice and together with the cover and the explanation it helped to generate that melancholic aura that you describe.

Submitted(+1)

Without being mixed this is really hard to listen to. The melody in the background is so nice but the saw lead is really just overpowering everything else, including the pad that comes in a bit later.

Really nice work otherwise. 

Submitted(+1)

I like the bouncing melody in the background, but the synth does make it a little hard to distinguish from the rest of the track. otherwise good track!

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