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Very fun story, was a pleasure to read! One thing that took me out of the narrative was a juxtaposition between archaic English (see, e.g., “retinue”) and modern speech (including the use of prepositions where a more archaic or formal phrase would have fit better). Otherwise, well done!
Thanks for the story! Enjoyed what I read, but personally I would have left Luchta's death a bit more open ended. I mean being left for dead by your comrade (no matter how deserved) creates quite an incentive to give your soul to the scary demons known for a little old fashioned revenge!
Concepts & Originality 4/5
I like it. A dark elf lord leading a band of warriors to steal a magic amulet from rift daemons is neat and creative.
Flow & Clarity 3/5
The story is clear and the action is easy to follow. There are a handful of minor grammar/punctuation mistakes and slightly awkward wording that detract from the flow of the text, but could be fixed with another a quick editing pass. I think the pacing of the narrative could use some adjustment. The first third is largely exposition so the real meat of the story seems a bit glossed over to fit the word limit, and the inclusion of a rivalry side-plot stretches it even thinner. With such a short story, it helps to jump into the action right away and have a focused narrative.
Adherence to Theme 4/5
I think you incorporated the theme well, with a creative setting and solution to the problem. Nice work.
If you want to discuss any of my feedback/ratings, feel free to @ me on the OPR discord.
Fun to read and enjoyable! Thanks for the story!
Wonderful read, very clear flow and sequence of events!
awesome art. It is always a treat when someone does their own title image.