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A jam submission

Robots Can't See Dead People(OPR Writing Jam 9)View project page

OPR Story Jam 9 submission
Submitted by OrangeCrowe — 2 hours, 54 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

Robots Can't See Dead People(OPR Writing Jam 9)'s itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to Theme#213.8213.821
Concepts & Originality#323.5003.500
Overall#323.3693.369
Flow & Clarity#462.7862.786

Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

I liked the concept and the characters were done well, the quippy dialogue made them a fun duo. I did get a bit confused as to who was speaking most of the times, a few dialogue tags would've helped a lot. That aside it was a great story with one of my favorite One Page factions the Duchies, well done!

Submitted(+1)

Oh no! You named the theme in story through a character quote! lol

Great Goblin tale. +9,999 Pluck Points to Gargle for his mix of cunning, charisma, chutzpah and gall. I was partly expecting him to come up with a more permanent solution to the automata not being able to sense ghosts, but the drugged lunatic targeting plan was awesome!

Submitted(+1)

I liked the battles description very much :)

Submitted(+1)

This was fun. Thank you for participating. I had some trouble following what the goblin plans actually were, but with a little re-reading and it came to me. 

Submitted(+1)

This was a fun submission to read (and congratulations on subverting my expectations for your setting--I was expecting Robot Legions and got Duchies instead).

One more round of proofreading would have made this a top contender in my mind. You've got some sentence fragments that broke me out of the story, unfortunately. Still, I really enjoyed this submission and am looking forward to seeing you participate in future writing jams.