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Alchemist's Mountain's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Engagement | #5 | 3.688 | 3.688 |
| Overall Pitch Quality | #6 | 3.875 | 3.875 |
| Clarity | #11 | 3.438 | 3.438 |
| Unique Selling Point | #15 | 3.313 | 3.313 |
Ranked from 16 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.
- Can't really tell what the game is from the tweet. The trailer helps and looks nice, but could use more action in the first 5-10 seconds.
- Love the cover image. Suggestions: -- Call To Action: Include the link and what you want people to do. You have a Demo but your page says "Game Demo: Coming Soon" which is confusing. -- Video: Upload direct to Twitter. YouTube links get penalised by Twitter's algorithm. -- Embed your link in your uploaded video using Twitter Ad Cards. Ask your team on our Discord how to do that if you're unsure. -- If you're planning on releasing on Steam then you want to get your page up as early as possible to start collecting wishlists many many months before.
- Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.
- Would benefit from a fee press kit uploaded to their dot com Funny and Characterful Great take on a Metroidvania game Tweet needs more emojis to break up words and fit character of game
- (Old tweet was deleted, this seems to be the new one: https://twitter.com/EvilArtBunny/status/1452427999186325504) The pitch is a bit mysterious, which might be good for engagement but it's a bit too unclear for me. Pixelart and dungeons aren't very unique selling points, perhaps try focusing more on what makes your game different from the rest.
- I get a tingly sensation when I look at those screenshots. It's warm, calming and I just have to get my hands on it! I think apart from the missing links, tweets. I'm looking at a very solid, entrancing title here~
- Don't link to a YT video, instead embed in the tweet!
- The trailer is very clear about the type of game. There are few elements that might call too strongly on other games like Mario and Zelda (between the spiky shells and floating chicken mechanic.) The tweet was very clear about the type of game we can expect, but included no CTA for engagement.
PitchYaPitch Tweet
https://twitter.com/EvilArtBunny/status/1452427999186325504
Press Kit Link (DevLog Update)
https://evilartbunny.itch.io/alchemists-mountain/devlog/307302/pitch-ya-pitch
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Comments
Overall an excellent submission! Tweet left no confusion on what to expect from the game. Video is solid (I'd cut out some of the dialogue scenes as they take a lot of time). Call to action mentioned in previous feedback posts is an excellent idea for improvement.
Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.
Love the cover image.
Suggestions:
-- Call To Action: Include the link and what you want people to do. You have a Demo but your page says "Game Demo: Coming Soon" which is confusing.
-- Video: Upload direct to Twitter. YouTube links get penalised by Twitter's algorithm.
-- Embed your link in your uploaded video using Twitter Ad Cards. Ask your team on our Discord how to do that if you're unsure.
-- If you're planning on releasing on Steam then you want to get your page up as early as possible to start collecting wishlists many many months before.
This looks fun! The tweet is really well written and your trailer is well put together. I'd maybe trim the very start of your trailer and get to the action a little quicker?
I'd love to hear a bit more concrete detail in your press kit of what kind of gameplay there is? The descriptions of the world and the story synopsis are very well written.
I really love your trailer and how it shows so many different scenes and mechanics from the game! I also think your game idea is great, and it ties really well back to classic games just like you said in your pitch.
A couple of notes:
- If you have space in your tweet, you should include a link to your steam page so people can wishlist your game
- I think the trailer and story could be tied a little more closely. There wasn't a lot of transmutation or alchemy going on in the trailer
Still, this was really great and intriguing! I think your game is headed in the right direction to be successful :)
Video in the tweet is great. Would maybe just space up the wording a bit for easier reading
RIVAL!!! Your's is my favorite pitch so far, it's so FLAWLESS!!! Shows lots of gameplay, has high personality and energy, looks fun, is clear, has good art and interesting characters, the pitch tweet is fantastic! YOU DID GOOD!
Really good work you did, but your twit isnt here =) main focus but no worry. I like your art style maybe they can bend with the background a little more, focus to power of presentation
I couldn't find the tweet so I'll hold off on making any further comments for now, but I will still have judged the rest~
Here's the tweet. I think the link broke https://twitter.com/EvilArtBunny/status/1452427999186325504