Nice one! Glad you enjoyed yourself :D please consider signing up to the Kickstarter prelaunch page if you fancy supporting, or even just on Steam - both help out and are really appreciated :) ta!
I really like the tone you use (i.e. I can hear the pirate voice reading your stuff out). Your tweet is a little messy and has too many hashtags, so I don't really know how the game itself plays. Looks cool though.
P.S. The line "Yarr… Just Play The Game Matey! Tis Free! " made me laugh in your press kit zip section, but really don't do that :P just give people the link to your full press kit.
Good tweet and descriptions in your presskit! The video does a good job of showing what environments you'll be in, and a little bit of the writing style. It would be great to see more of the other parts of gameplay too if possible? If not, you could do more slower panning/pitching shots (maybe without the main character) to get the most out of the environments.
This looks fun! And the Tweet and press kit are well put together :) you should add a call to action in there. In your Press Kit, don't include sections that are not applicable (such as awards) - if it's not relevant, it doesn't need to be there :)
This looks fun! The tweet is really well written and your trailer is well put together. I'd maybe trim the very start of your trailer and get to the action a little quicker?
I'd love to hear a bit more concrete detail in your press kit of what kind of gameplay there is? The descriptions of the world and the story synopsis are very well written.
Love the tagline - Irresponsible Schoolgirl Simulator, it's clear and I know exactly what your game is from that :) The presskit and the trailer are good, your tweet needs some work. You should include the trailer as part of your tweet, and maybe expand on what makes the game cool/unique (rather than new build on the way).
Press Kit and tweet are very clear. You could use a better attachment on the tweet (such as your screenshots or video) rather than just the preview to the store page.
Sounds like an interesting concept, there's just nothing to go on other than the logo at the moment (which I'm guessing is because it's still early in development?) So a good start and looking forward to seeing more when it's ready :)
Sounds like an interesting concept! I think the last part of your tweet where you elevator pitch the game is really good. I'm not sure this video is the best way of showing pitching your game, as it's mainly very small text which doesn't read great when scaled down on Twitter. You'd be better off showing a collection of screenshots or showing some of the turnbased combat etc imo.
Your press kit is pretty good! The text is engaging and I get a good feel for what you are building. I don't like the style of the tweet unfortunately - it's very negative and doesn't make me want to engage, which is a shame because the content of the press kit is really engaging and interesting.
Don't link to youtube videos in tweets by the way, upload the video instead. YT vids don't autoplay on Twitter so you don't get that scroll through engagement.
The colour palette is very striking in this, makes your screenshot very eye catching. However I'm a bit confused as to what the game is. Your press kit makes it sound like an asset pack? Or a game builder like Dreams or Mario Maker. Your tweet says it's a puzzle platformer. It might be both, but as a reader I'm a little confused unfortunately.
I think an animation/gif/video of some sort may help clear some things up if that's possible? And work on the way you describe your game to others :) try getting other people to play your game, and get them to describe the game back to you.
Looks interesting! The tweet is well written, I just would replace/remove the final bit about Loathe with something else, as a reader I have no context of who that is.
The press kit looks good too! It's well laid out. I think the 15s trailer you've used in your tweet moves too fast, and it's hard to gauge what you do in the game. The longer one in your press kit flows better :)
Pitch text is good + on point and the presskit is well presented! I have a very clear idea what your game is and who it's for. The only thing that's letting you down is the media of the Tweet isn't great. You should hand pick a short gif or a collection of 4 good screenshots for this if possible? Pick your most colourful seeing as the game is aimed at kids :)
Looks very very cool! Your tweet is very good too, I think you could break it down a bit by wording it more as a bullet list rather than sentence.
i.e.
- Pilot the unique biological fighter Manta
- Design, build and command a fleet of futuristic warships
- Defeat the Federation and discover the lost secrets of the Tharsa!
The trailer is good too, my only issue is the text that pops up, it tends to obscure what's happening behind and the animations aren't great (although the content is good) so this could be polished?
The press release is nice. Would recommend creating an info sheet to link to instead though with all the key information listed really succinctly at the top, and then more in depth descriptions below. Overall good job :)
The gif is intriguing and the art style is really unique! The Tweet falls a little short as it doesn't tell the reader much about the game itself - it would be great to swap it out with your elevator pitch/short description.
The text in your press kit is good, but it could use re-organizing. You should put your TL;DR stuff near the top (such as game features list and key information i.e. platforms, release date), and then go into more detail below. Also as other people have said, being able to see the contents before downloading a zip is always good.
The thing that really stood out to me reading through was giving the player the decision on what order they learn the skill tree - that's a really unique and interesting concept! If you can work that into your tweet I think you might turn a lot of heads with that :)
Totally get your point, and it certainly does show off the fact it's on mobile in portrait :) I think you could show some of the clips in portrait as you are here to show that it's on mobile, and then have some cuts closer to the action. That way you'd get the best of both worlds (not misleading, but still getting closer to the action). That's be my two cents anyway :)
Very cool looking and great pitch! I'd echo what other people have said about the image though, you have a really cool trailer on your Steam page, you could cut out the best 30s of it maybe and put it here?
The game looks very cool and very interesting, pretty damn unique too. The tweet is worded well too. The "Blow up boats" text in the video confused me the first time watching because there was so much time between them appearing, and I though the word "up" was just randomly appearing.
I think you'd really elevate the video by adding some more camera angles if possible? The game itself looks very fun though :)
Cool looking game! Fun music as well :) the pitch is also clear and to the point and gives you a good idea of what the game is. I'm not sure what the "looks simple, feels real" tag line is all about though and it feels unnecessary imo.
I'd redo your video to be closer to the action as it's quite hard to see the action at the size Twitter is showing it. You could zoom the camera in and remove the dead air on the sides perhaps? At least for some of the time.
The press kit looks good too. Programmatically generated is often referred to as procedurally generated by the way (i.e. randomly generated each time).
I think the pitch is very good, and your video is also well made. They just don't seem to match unfortunately (which I think is just based on how much you've done looking below). I don't know if there's any other media you can use instead of that video which more closely matches the description? Either way, game sounds very exciting and I'm looking forward to what you build :)
Good tweet text! Also some good stuff in the Pitch Deck - you should totally add more images etc throughout the pitch deck to spruce it up and give the reader more of a feel for the game as they're reading. Also remove anything that says N/A, if it's not applicable then don't include it. Check out this example pitch deck from the clever people at Chucklefish:
