i said on stream, "this is the best game i've ever played"

i didn't beat it.  i don't think i can, seeing as i am not an AI.  i hope the ending is spectacular but only for robots?  if organic life beholds the ending it appears only to be white noise, probably.  that's my headcanon

i don't even know what to say.  mere human words cannot capture this experience.  every part of it is perfect.  please participate in every strawberry jam until the end of time

i am going to find a way to write a virus that makes it so recaptcha on every website is replaced with this game

Preface: I need you to know that when I found out that this was made with MV, I made this sound exactly (4:17 is the timestamp, in case the link doesn't function right). My god.

Play: You walk back and forth. The timer keeps it engaging, though. Speaking of the timer- is that base sixteen? I love that. I don't know why you chose that, but it's great. I was ready to put 'silly game! I didn't lose because I got distracted by the popups, I lost because my reflexes are shit!' but the timer was surprisingly lenient and I won with more than 100-in-base-sixteen time units to spare, even after messing up once or twice. I like tasks that seem more difficult than they are, they make me feel accomplished.

Aesthetic: Mwah. Chef's kiss. Immaculately crafted. Intentionally janky. Clip art chic. The last pop-up doesn't go away. Is this a bug or a feature? The world may never know.

Sound: The main music track was a little annoying- for some reason, it sounds to me like roblox music? I do not know why, especially since all roblox music is user-uploaded- but the vibes fit well, and all the rest of the sounds in the game are amazing.

Narrative: Not very deep, but it doesn't need to be. It's silly and fun.

Horny: I think the point of the game is to encourage you not to be horny? The pop-ups are not particularly compelling, although I guess anything was scandalous in The Early Internet Times.

Kink: No.

Stealth: Actually yes! I wouldn't have been able to tell the jam genre from this alone, and it seems more like a satire directed at terrible pop-up ads than anything intentionally horny. I guess that's what it is? I hope it is, or I massively missed the point. If I missed the point, swap my score for this category with the category immediately before it.

Harmony: I feel like it could easily have been way harder while still retaining its 'you just scrape by' difficulty setting. A more engaging task that actually gets impeded by the popups- or maybe they'd fully cover the screen at the end and you'd have to time your walk to the other side? But that might interfere with the vibes and message, so maybe it's best left alone. 

Novelty: THIS WAS MADE!!! IN RPG MAKER!!! I NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW FUCKING BANANAS THAT IS!!!!!

Final Thoughts: TOTALLY FUCKING BANANAS, THAT'S HOW MUCH!!!

I didn't even know you could make 3D games in RPG Maker. But, the aesthetic is definitely on point. I went back and replayed to get the ending where I prove I am not human.

I really liked the 90s style and the comedy.  The initial gameplay was kind of frustrating to my easily-distracted mind, but then again that was kind of the whole point.  Trying not to get distracted by all the pop-up ads while doing a very dull and repetitive task (much like what real AIs have to deal with, the poor things  xD).  It's a very nice concept, and once I got my brain to shut up and focus it was a neat little game!

Maybe the real humans were the Actor2.png that survived along the way.

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hm! i didn't think i would be tempted but proving you are a robot was so dang boring in comparison that i succumbed during my first play-through. i felt the shame so keenly (also succumbing to temptation was not as rewarding as i hoped) that i played through again and proved i wasn't a human. then i felt really proud of myself. the whole experience was so awful that it looped around to being fun, i loved it.