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arcanelviejo

22
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A member registered Aug 21, 2021 · View creator page →

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Thank you, very appreciated.

Thank you for commenting. I expect that clarity to be my weakest point, no surprise there, about the theme I expected to have achieved better, but well, I'll have to work more.

If you are interested to check them, I tried to link all my submissions in different opr writing jam, if loosely,  in a "meta-theme",  . Although i am afraid they could be even less clear to follow.

Thank you. You are too kind, I am afraid clarity in English texts is difficult for me.

Thank you

Thank you

Sure. A minor one is I quite didn't get the relation between the gear of the prisoner and what it does at first. But the thing if find quite discordant is the capabilities to mobilize of the guard, according to perceived rank, and the called help itself (something from hdf lists, perhaps?).

Interesting plot twist, but the narrative could be clearer, at the end specially.

Well-made folkloric tale atmosphere, although it would have benefited from developing the central story more.

Good character interaction, although the plot is a bit predictable.

I liked the use of the OPR factions for defining characters.

Very well written, original and with memorable characters.

Original, well narrated and with a great sense of detail.

Thank you,  the file was left hidden for some reason. Just corrected it.

Or perhaps they (the daemons) are joining in too.

Very appreciated you read it. I rather lean toward trying (emphasis in "try") to write texts giving "vibes", and I tend to produce this kind of results. I should try to go for stories and give more dynamism to text.

Thank you. It is true there are few stories about Rebel Guerrillas. I hope it changes, it is a faction (or factions) I think could give some more differences to the setting of GDF vs one... More known ;) . I wish i'd polished more the text, i spotted several mistakes.

New Genesis in the Sirius Sector... Nah, it will never catch on. Joking aside, i get your point. I adopted the perspective emulating some old sci-fi tones for long background dump in short text, i didn't get they were themselves similar to stories in the old testament, go figures. Not the best to engage into a story, indeed, needed better prose.

Although it had some tad unsuspected turns, I am quite amused with this one, quite a laugh.

Thanks. I have the the same opinion about grammar/clarity, but i had some issues and could not get to do some more corrections rounds :( 

Thanks. I kinda wrote this way the three stories i submitted to the Jams. It is consistent, at least, although not intented.

(1 edit)

Thank you for all your comments. After the Jam, I will update the text polishing the weak spots and correcting errors.

I am not to fond of commenting, but I'll try to reply to you as, to clarify, i am not sure of the intent you see in the story was the one i had in mind. The theme would be the in universe view of a classical war scenario in a wargame in the Grimdark Future, the story and the metastory interlaced, so to speak, as others have commented. About the race of the alien scout (as i thought of it), my first intention was to be a Space Elf, has you have guessed, but the repetitive and aloof speech only meant to reflect an intimidating interrogation from a non human, nothing more. As you have quite rightly pointed, because its race is not named and its description is quite ambiguous, more suggesting than explaining, I realized it could fit in a number of the other factions of the game, absolutely unintended, but I kind of liked it.